Political Undertones

Many times I have referred to myself as a political prisoner.  That is an odd distinction for me as I have never been considered a political person.  My interests have always swayed toward economic theory and psychology...and the next Sudoku puzzle.  My case brought to light the politics of the Texas justice system and what is going on inside the Legislature, of course.  But even that is not what I am talking about here.

Today I spent time on the blog called Grits For Breakfast as I do everyday to get my fill of what is going on in the Texas justice system and to make comments when something sparks a nerve or an idea.  The "Grits" blog has been recognized by many, including The New York Times:  On criminal justice, Grissom wrote, "WHO TO WATCH Scott Henson, a very knowledgeable blogger, who writes about all things criminal justice at gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com."   In reading this blog, participating in the very active discussions via comments and in general enjoying how Scott Henson seems to have no fear...just puts it out there...he has the John Wayne version of "true grit", I decided this morning to just get more brave. 

It is time to put a piece of my case out there that I have been keeping to myself (and my attorneys and my husband and my mom....).  I suppose you might be saying: but haven't you said it all by now?  Well, far from it...after all I have to leave something for the book, RIGHT?  Okay...here's another piece to this case of mine, although there was some mention of it in my post called A DEAD BATTERY? I did not really explain and give you the timeline so you could see the significance.  This may also explain more of the reason the Contributor's business partner is so involved.  For those of you who are new to my blog, in my case the "Contributor" made the false allegations and his "business partner" masterminded the scheme against me and conspired in the fabrication. It has his signature all over it.  I am just introducing David McCall in this post.  I give this to you in the form of a timeline:

July 1, 1992  The business partner loans $200,000 to an insurance man's corporation who was buying an existing insurance company.  The loan was made because he could not have ownership in an insurance agency in the state of Texas without having an insurance license.  The rate of the loan is 18%.  Its considered a "sweetheart" loan as no lender would have done this or accepted the terms of repayment (cash flow).

October 28, 1992  The business partner loans an additional $100,000 at a rate of 12% to same corporation for initial operating expenses.  Another "sweetheart" loan.

Throughout 1993 and 1994  Interest on loans is paid as cash flow allows.  Not something a typical lender would accept, but it is how someone having ownership in the business would be distributed cash.  Further, the business partner and the insurance man have monthly meetings to go over the operations of the company.

October 1994  The insurance business is sold.  The loans and any remaining unpaid interest are paid off as well as a "back-end fee", called a "consulting fee" amounting to $185,910, in effect the business partner's share of the profits from the sale.  He couldn't own a percentage of the business so he accomplished the same thing through the guise of a series of loans and a consulting fee.

October 1996  David McCall, an ex-mayor of Plano, pleaded guilty to bank fraud (after another ex-mayor of Plano, Jack Harvard, pleaded guilty to related charges and agreed to be a government witness against McCall).  McCall is a new character in the story and his charges relate to the S&L scams of the 1980's.  So McCall is now a felon and owns his own insurance company.

August 13, 1998  Date of stock issuance for TCT Holdings, Inc. and the date newspapers say TCT was formed (by the insurance man from 1992 above) through the merging of three agencies which includes "The McCall Insurance Agency".  I have copies of the stock issued to the Contributor and his business partner.  The business partner bragged that once again they had ownership in an insurance agency without being licensed.  So not only was that illegal but McCall 's continued ownership, once a felon, is illegal.  Felons are not allowed to have ownership in insurance agencies in the state of Texas.  I checked, there is no grandfather clause to that.  Apparently David changed his name to Bruce McCall for the insurance company purposes.  David's middle name started with "B", but was Benjamin, not Bruce, which is what he was using. 

1998- 2003  The business partner continues to require the insurance man to have monthly meetings with him to go over the operations and financials of the business.  Micromanaging as usual.  Once I started NOAH we used their agency for our policies.  (Uh, would I use their agency if I was stealing from them?  That would be bold!)

October 30, 2003  I received a call from Betsy of TCT telling me to extend the Directors & Officers insurance policy to cover end-of-business contingencies. The policy had lapsed a couple weeks earlier.  Her example was ...what if a parent decided to sue us.  I told her "No, we did not have the wherewithal to pay and I was not going to extend it."  TCT went on and paid it anyway, extending without my permission.  Remember the Contributor and his business partner have ownership in TCT!!

November 2003  False police report and false insurance claims filed with regard to alleged theft for the funding of The NOAH Project school.

Thursday, February 12, 2004  McCall goes into a coma as a result of cancer.

Saturday, February 14, 2004  President Bush approves pardon of McCall. Alberto Gonzalez, then the General Counsel to the White House, drew up the pardon papers.

Monday, February 16, 2004  Presidential pardon of McCall is announced.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004  McCall dies, never came out of coma so doesn't even know he was pardoned.

Monday,  February 23, 2004  Temple-Inland purchases TCT and renames it Guaranty Insurance Services.

The pardon accomplished several things.  It caused the continuing Federal investigation on McCall and subsequently his estate to cease.  It cleared the way for the sale of TCT to an SEC regulated company.  It also made the paper trail of the fraudulent claims and the extension of the policy related to my case impossible to follow.  And, outside of the McCall pardon, the Contributor and business partner, once again get away with owning and profiting from an insurance agency that is not allowed under Texas law.

Don't you wonder, given the false allegations on me and false insurance claims, how many more false claims there might have been?  All of the Contributor's and business partner's development deals and existing finished properties and business operations were insured through this agency.  Don't you wonder when someone changes their name to do business and was a felon as a result of the S&L insurance scams of the 80's  what kind of business they were doing in this group of insurance companies that merged in the late 90's?  There was a big question when Bush pardoned McCall....it was so out of pattern from all prior pardons of Bush.  Much was written about that, in newspapers and blogs with many people speculating.  It's far from a coincidence that a week after the pardon TCT was sold to Temple-Inland (a Texas based SEC regulated company).  You know Temple-Inland would have done a fair amount of due diligence before buying TCT.  But, not one word was ever spoken to me about this before I left at the end of October (just three months prior) and I was always placed in the middle of these types of transactions for my ex-clients....as a sort of watch dog.  (No, I'm not a dog.)

I handed this information to the prosecutors and what I was given in return was a Motion in Limine saying we could not bring up past "bad acts" of the Contributor or his business partner.  That would include the false insurance claims made from the false allegations of me and the unlawful extension of NOAH's Directors and Officers policy....which was quite relevant to my defense.

Further we subpoenaed all the insurance records from TCT (then Guaranty).  They were not required to bring them to court.  Instead my attorney and I went to their offices, after being told on the phone we would have to sort through about 15 to 20 boxes.  When we arrived, we were ushered into a conference room and given two small stacks of paper with two of the previous TCT employees watching us and answering questions.  Of course what we were looking for was not there.  They were never made to render the documents as outlined in the subpoena.  Nor did my attorney bring any of the people from TCT into the trial to be questioned.  There were three people I specifically requested: the insurance man heading up all the deals and operations, and the two women who sat at that table the day we went to their offices, the three key personnel of TCT.

Perhaps you see the political overtones I first spoke of in this blog.  There is more and it relates to Harlan Crow, business partner to my two ex-clients and trustee to Bush's campaign funds. I was specifically told in the fall of 2004 to take nothing of what I knew regarding other issues to the media because this country could not afford to have John Kerry as President.  At the same time my attorney asked for another $50,000 to continue on my case, of which everyone involved knew I could not afford, thus precipitating the recategorization of me to "indigent" and throwing me to the public defenders.

For being a-political I managed to get right in the middle of things, wouldn't you say?

The Momentum of NOAH

I promise to make this short.  I have been lamenting on The NOAH Project and the momentum it gained in our community.  Autism and its treatment is still getting a fair amount of media because autism is still a mystery and has become quite prevalent among our children.  So much so that I believe every person in this country knows at least one family dealing with this phenomenon.  

The NOAH Project speaking series addressed so many of the challenges faced by the families of children with autism.  Following are some of the speaking topics and brief descriptions that were a part of our Speaking Series which was held in the Plano Centre.  We had as many as almost 500 people show up from around the metroplex.  Those attending were teachers, therapists, parents and caregivers of children with autism and other special needs.  The passion I felt to help these children and their families just seemed infinite.  After so much suppression by the legal system in this fabricated case against me, I am beginning to finally feel regenerated, thanks to a recent visit with my dear friend, Dorothy, who helped me start this school years ago.  Rather we have another school or not I can sure write about it and finish the book I started.

Next are some pictures of a few of the amazing people who attended and community leaders that helped:

Many of the kids represented by the adults attending in the above pictures are young adults now.  Perhaps its time to focus my energies on providing a meaningful program for the adults.  This first large generation of affected kids (from the 90's) are giving us a new challenge...never have we had so many special needs adults at a time while mental health funds across the nation are being cut.  The times call for us to be especially creative, so our grown up kids can continue to learn and be a part of society in the best way.

In God's Time

I knew the name of this blog before I ever wrote it or even organized my thoughts on the subject.  Usually its the other way around for me, I write, then search for the name.  This particular subject I have battled with all my life...In God's Time....but I want it NOW!!!  And I want it my way!!!  Sound familiar?

While in prison, just prior to being accepted into the Faith Dorm I was accepted to participate in a Retreat Weekend, held by a prison ministry called "KAIROS".  The way we were considered for this weekend is to write a request into the prison chaplain explaining why we want to attend the Kairos weekend.  I wrote three times, it seemed important enough to me to become a squeaky wheel.  And, sure enough, I received far more than I ever imagined possible. 

A little definition is in order here.  "Kairos" is a Greek word meaning undetermined time when something special happens.  In contrast "Chronos" is the Greek word for chronological or sequential time.  To take this a step further, in Christian theology kairos refers to "the appointed time in the purpose of God", the time when God acts.  For example Mark 1:15 says "the time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand....." this is referring to kairos time.  This retreat weekend was indeed, a time for God's purposes, His presence was enormous and awesome, the transformations among us were amazing and inspiring.

To start with, it was held in the gymnasium which had been partitioned off into sections.  A section for group meetings, a section for worship and a section for eating. On a Thursday evening we were ushered into the gym and every two of us were assigned a volunteer.  We were offered a buffet dinner...fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, olives and finger sandwiches.  That may not sound like a big deal to you, BUT it was GIANT to us.  I had not had fresh veggies or fruit since incarcerated ...at that time it had been two and a half years and I craved these delicacies.  For others it had been even longer.  After filling our bodies with healthy food, they began to fill our hearts and minds with healthy thoughts and feelings through songs, sharing and presentations.  These women, the volunteers, had unconditional love down to a tee, they embraced each one of us just as we were.  Not one of us ever felt judged, we were brought into this circle of Christian women with open arms.  I don't think I have ever experienced so much love at once.  The women came from several different denominations...there were Baptist, Methodist, Episcopalians, Catholics and Lutheran to name a few.  They came from churches all around, some from as far as 50+ miles away.  Some of the volunteers were ministers at their churches. 

At night we had to return to our cells to sleep.  We were then brought back Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  In all we were together about 36 hours.  They provided our meals, which were home cooked by volunteers outside the prison.  Another large volunteer group that we never saw were the prayer warriors.  These were volunteers specifically assigned to each one of us and were to pray for that person all weekend.  They wrote us personal notes and sent them in, they took prayer requests from us and included that in their prayers. 

The presentations to us were shared among the volunteers.  After a presentation we then did group projects based on our understanding and presented those projects to the entire group.  So the presentations to us were turned into an experiential learning, a much better way for us to retain and connect to our lessons.  There were approximately 50 inmates and the volunteer group inside with us was approximately 35-40 women.  As we were walking in each morning the volunteers surrounded us and sang to us.  It was so beautiful.  I still get tears when I think of how joyful that weekend was....it was like an oasis in the middle of a desert and we were just thirsting for what they gave us.  The community that grew among us became an enormous force of nature...we carried it with us for the remainder of my time there...and I'm certain it continued long after I left. 

On Saturday morning we were each handed a small piece of rice paper and told to write names of people we needed to ask forgiveness from on one side and those we needed to forgive on the other side...we kept it with us throughout the day and wrote names as they came to us.  Then later that evening we had a worship service on forgiveness and prayed on our lists.  At the end of that service the minister was at a table with a large bowl of water and a wooden spoon, we each went up and put our list in the water, one at a time, and as she stirred we watched it dissolve.  Following that exercise there were ministers in each corner of the room so we lined up (if we wanted) and were prayed over while that minister washed our hands.  The power of that entire experience and the feeling of freedom was beyond words.  It made the actual prison walls surrounding us seem like nothing, as we realized how withholding of forgiveness (in either direction) really creates a prison within, one for which there is no parole unless we make the choice to let go and speak those words and clean our thoughts.  I started out that morning saying I was not a grudge holder so I wouldn't have anybody on my list...then as the day went on...my list grew and grew as I became more and more honest with myself.

Also offered during the weekend were individual counseling sessions with ministers of our choice, but only if we wanted.  I had been grappling with the forgiveness issue regarding my false accusers.  I had prayed over this several times, but seemed to have circular thinking.  I met with one of the ministers I felt most comfortable with, asking if it made sense for me to continue with my appeal/habeas if I have truly forgiven them?  Giant question for me.  It was her belief that I was dealing with two separate issues, making them one.  It was okay for me to pursue clearing my name (sticking to the facts of the case) and at the same time forgive these men.  The two actions could live hand in hand inside of me.  I began to understand, and was provided a sense of relief.  I still work on this and when I feel the anger surface again (as it does), I lift it up, let it go and move on.  Sometimes my husband gets angry at me for not being more angry, but I know that anger, if I were to hold on to it, would just kill me (if not physically, then spiritually for sure).

Everything in God's time...I have to remember that!  My parole was granted that very Friday while I was at the Kairos Retreat, although I wouldn't find out about it for another three weeks.  When I came home several months later I found that sweet Nate, my special needs son, had regressed significantly.  I had heard about this but never imagined how bad things were for him.  My husband's health had deteriorated because of diabetes, he never let on in his letters but his last couple visits were somewhat revealing.  My other son, Brandon, had survived the best, but basically had been very much on his own soon after I left, doing it the best he could (like being in the family group but not connected).  I have to remind myself...the healing is all in God's time too....for all of us.  The habeas is still not filed, I pray on that also.  That habeas has to be the best it can be, because it is a one-shot deal.  God's time!!  His perfect time.  It all boils down to trust and faith.

No Small Chatter

I want to tell you about a group I have recently connected with.  If you have an on-going interest or even a developing curiosity in my case and cases like mine you will be interested in this group.  They are called Project: Not Guilty ("PNG") and have commented several times on my blogs as "The Team".  I have the links below so you can see what they have to say about my case, as well as a link to their website.

PNG is an advocacy group who is helping the non-DNA innocents claim their exonerations and more.  PNG started out in Texas, but has become national as there is such a cry out for help in our runaway justice systems.  You may not know this, but even if the Appellate Court clears a person they are still not considered exonerated.  In Texas they still have to go through a process with the State Controllers office and quite often are not given the exoneration that is so rightfully theirs.  Besides years in prison, ripped away from family, those who are falsely accused and wrongly convicted have been stripped of their good name, many of their rights and quite often find it difficult to ever be gainfully employed again or move easily within society.  The accumulated damage to a victim of the justice system does not stop accruing once the person is released from prison.

I invite you to take a look at the Project: Not Guilty website and the comment section at the end of my four blogs where they have imparted words of advice, encouragement and wisdom:

Project: Not Guilty

The Newsweek Essay Contest

The 4 W's and the Octopus Arms

Can They Have It Both Ways?

Investigative Team...Attorney Wouldn't Join

Now as follow up to the Internet chats I started sharing with you in the post called: "Investigative Team..." I have placed another part of those chats below.  While these people ("lionheartix") also call themselves my "team", to my knowledge they are not the same team that is coming forth in Project: Not Guilty as described above.  A small portion of the Internet dialogue on September 11, 2004 went as follows:

lionheartix:  one thing that Scott (retired FBI SAC - Atlanta) told me yesterday was about the FBI and IRS.  He said that you need to do a "white paper" to take to the FBI and/or IRS and/or Texas Rangers.

ifonlythiswasover:  I'll do a white paper, I guess that is something my attorney knows?

lionheartix:  it is a detailed report of why you are there, and helps them to understand and relay the reason you are there to others, either higher up or lower echelon.  hard for them to understand someone telling a story to them, so it should be written.

ifonlythiswasover:  why I am where?  at their front door?

lionheartix:  why you are in their office, yes.

ifonlythiswasover:  surely my attorney would know about that, I will put it on my list though.

lionheartix:  yes, but he really needs to understand why you want the FBI and the IRS and Texas Rangers to be involved.  there is just so much more of this that is behind the scenes that hasn't connected yet.  it's there, but not exactly clear yet.

ifonlythiswasover:  not clear to all of us????

lionheartix:  to your case.  it will take the feds....one of the agencies, or maybe both of them, to tie this case in with the fraud, the extortion/payoffs, etc..................      would it effect the business partner that things will be really under a microscope in your case?

ifonlythiswasover:  yes...I think so.

lionheartix:  it would definitely make him think he has to back off of you or get really investigated deeply.

ifonlythiswasover:  I don't think he believed this thing could ever flip back on him...I honestly think he sees himself above the law.  I'll guarantee you the contributor is the follower here.

lionheartix:  he could literally believe that, but if he sees a LOT of subpoenas shooting through the court for this information and history and different stuff that he never wants to be made public, then he will definitely HAVE to pull in his claws and start settling things.

ifonlythiswasover:  the contributor is different...but my friend keeps reminding me he is a bad guy too and to not lose sight of that.  from the start my friend kept saying "what does the contributor have on his business partner and what does his business partner have on the contributor...you find the answer to that and you'll find the answer to the false allegations."

lionheartix:  that is very wise for her to see that.


My attorney at the time said he would not go forward with the case unless we paid him an additional $50,000, thus I had to go to indigent status.  As you already know my public defender ignored all this, would not read the dialogues and said it was not our place to bring in the FBI or any other authority...no white papers were ever filed.  A lot was asked for in the subpoenas (although not nearly as much as could have been), much was never rendered, most was thrown out during the pretrial hearings...as privileged or irrelevant.  In my defense, my attorney refused to explain why we needed anything and kept telling me he would not divulge his strategy in the pretrial hearings. What strategy?

We have arrived at the Motion in Limine again.  Ten days before the trial this Motion was filed by prosecution, saying we could not bring up in trial any "prior bad act" of the contributor or his business partner.  My walking knowledge of their personal lives and businesses (including fraudulent insurance claims on the money in question) was the motive for destroying my credibility by these false allegations.  It was completely relevant and not privileged (no such thing in a criminal case).  The Detective, prosecutors and civil attorneys absolutely protected these two men (my false accusers).  And for that matter, so did my public defender by his indifference and inaction.

Below is the letter my husband, Ron, wrote Internal Affairs at Dallas Police Department.  It was not written earlier as I was incarcerated and we mistakenly thought this would be handled in the appeal, but was not how the appeal works.  You can see the response from David Brown, DPD Chief of Police and his Deputy Chief of Police.  Once again, putting the onus on my public defender in the trial.  So the focus is not truth, but procedure and how can truth be circumvented.

Brown so eloquently refers to truth as "differences in opinion".  That's a new one.  If the abuse of power is not caught on film, it doesn't count?  I have a feeling before this is over there will be a lot more finger pointing.  Immunity is a dangerous thing and takes the checks and balances out of the justice system, whereby nobody is held accountable for ruining innocent people's lives with their lies.  The above letter is like saying my officers/detectives can say anything they want under oath and if the public defender misses it or doesn't care enough to do his job then ...Oh well, you lose.  Are there any ethics in this so called "justice system"?  While it's a game to these players...that is, who can outsmart or out maneuver who...innocent people's lives are on the line.  What is the value of our lives, while these people are gaming?  Or after........

The POWER of Prayer!

As I mentioned in a prior post, the Hobby Unit, located in Marlin, Texas was an eye opening and scary experience for me during my short five week stay.  Hobby holds the unique distinction of being the worst women's prison in the United States.  On the drive over in the van, I could not figure out how I had come to be assigned to Hobby, a maximum security Unit.  It held the lifers and many of the most on-going violent criminals in the system.  I had never received a case for any violation since incarcerated, had a reputation among the officers for working hard and being respectful.  In fact most prisoners and officers who came to know me could not figure out why I was there...they always said I did not belong.  Most women I met had been drug users at one time or another and many of them said within minutes of meeting me "You've never done drugs, have you?"  The answer for me is "No, Never". 

In orientation the second day at Hobby, conducted by the Head of Security, we were informed the Unit was as bad as all the stories we had ever heard and perhaps worse.  When first arriving at Hobby we are housed in either Building 1 or Building 2, both are considered transitional buildings.  Building 1 is primarily for those in solitary confinement but takes overflow from those coming into the Unit.  Building 2 is for those coming in and those with behavior cases.  I was placed in Building 2.  There exist a lot of violence in those two buildings.  For example, the first week I was there, one woman, sitting on a bench watching TV, was approached from behind, and with razors her face was sliced up.  The Slicer put individual razors between her fingers and just started slashing.  There was no particular argument between the two, she was just present when the Slicer decided to do something to get attention.  The person doing the slicing was mad because her girlfriend was put in solitary confinement and she wanted to be in Building 1 with her.

I worked as an all night janitor, thankfully.  Those on the "hoe squad" went out in rain and worked in the fields with mud up to their knees some days.  The men officers overseeing them, on horses, call out obscenities to them all day and didn't allow them to use the bathroom, therefore they were having to relieve themselves in their clothes and if it was their period, they were left to bleed all over themselves.  My cell mate came home one day after one of these traumatic experiences, crying her eyes out.  Many of us gathered around her and helped the best we could with her mud and blood soaked clothes and shoes. 

We  lived in two-people cells and unlike other Units where the doors were left unlocked, ours' were locked and would only open for a few seconds at scheduled times.  We had to decide whether we wanted to be in the violence ridden day room or locked inside our cells.  Inside my cell was my choice so long as I had a cell mate that I felt safe with, which is what I had for the first two weeks.  At the end of two weeks I was transferred to Building 4, which in theory was considered a much better place to be.  

As I walked toward the cell door lugging my mattress, sheets, blanket and personal items I looked up at the woman standing outside the door.  When our eyes met she rolled her eyes, muttered some obscenities and went inside the cell.  I followed her in and knew I was in trouble.  This women did not like me.  She was 33 years old, had been in the TDCJ system for over 13 years.  She had a 40 year sentence for murdering a man while she was burglarizing his home at the age of 19.  She would be up for consideration of parole at 20 years, but did not expect to make parole.  She was completely institutionalized and angry.  She had a reputation for beating up her cell mates and others, and was in this building because she had not done it in a while.

She quickly informed me everything in the cell was hers.  All electric outlets, all hooks, shelves and tabletop.  She would allow me the bottom bunk and one storage unit below the bunk.  She went crazy when she found any of my hair on the floor (I am talking one strand of hair).  She hated my hair, my smell (I was clean!), my shoes, really everything about me.  She threatened to kill me quite often which I didn't take lightly.  I found myself living in absolute fear.  She made it clear that I better never say anything to an officer about her because she or one of her friends (she said she had them everywhere) would get me.  I wrote home A LOT but of course nobody from the outside could really help me either. 

I FINALLY GOT IT!  I started praying constantly....this must be what God was talking about...we had to get to the very end, where we had no place to turn, but to Him, to really see Him and what He could do for us.  I prayed for safety, I prayed thanking Him for my life and telling Him I wanted to live to go home to my family, I asked Him to move me to another place, I prayed that He might help my cell mate in some way that would make life easier and kinder for her.  And I sat on my bunk bed with my Bible opened and my eyes trained on His Word every moment we were locked in that cell together.  I felt a calm come over me.  She did notice my Bible and my reading of it and tended to back off more and more.  One day she even brought some Christian pamphlets to me, saying she thought I would like them...I thanked her and avidly read them. 

Her aggression became more focused outside the cell, in the day room, where she had screaming fights and physical fights, but was never reprimanded by the officers.  One day she asked me about my life before prison, what I did for a living.  She thought on that a couple days, then asked if I would write a letter for her regarding a property settlement issue (related to an oil & gas deal) she had with her mother's estate.  I did it, she liked it and signed it and sent it off right away.  Then she asked me to explain my case and the habeas process to her and I did.  She asked me if that might apply to her.  I didn't really know but was willing to help her write a couple letters requesting the advice she needed and possible representation.  We did those letters together.  That very night an officer came to our cell door following the 10:00 count and told me to pack up I was being transferred.

I was so excited, my prayers were answered!  I was being shipped to the Lockhart Unit, an air conditioned facility, minimum security, visits in person (rather than through a window, on a phone).  As I was leaving I wished my cell mate the best and she wished me the same.  I have often thought about her and prayed for her, although I will probably never see her again. 

God is so faithful.  He patiently waits for us.   He answers our prayers.  All glory is due Him.  I am just so grateful for His presence in my life.

Investigative Team... Attorney Wouldn't Join

In my blog named "What's Their Motive" I talked about an Internet chat that transpired over a year's time with a friend of mine.  Over the next week or so I want to share with you some of that dialogue.  As you may remember my friend was a retired Air Force intelligence officer and had stayed connected to the intelligence community.  He would sometimes ask me specific questions and other times he would tell me to just type in the chat everything that came to my mind that happened over the 20 years I worked for these men.  He said to focus on anything that would give rise to the reasons they would set me up.  In other words, anything I knew that they would not want others to know.  Also, anything that I remembered that was odd, or out of place....anything that just stood out.  He also questioned me extensively on all the details of my case.  I printed out all of these chats and organized them chronologically in notebooks.  The Internet chat dialogues sit about a foot high. I charted things when asked and flow-charted organization structures so the details were clear and easier to understand for all those reviewing this information.  I was under the impression that my friend had included others in the questioning of me and processing the volumes of information I provided.  They told me in one of the chats that I had a "team".  I believed them because my friend was involved and because I was desperate for real help in my case.

I had another friend who talked to me after I had been doing this for awhile and sharing some of the dialogues with her.  She cautioned me that there was really two distinct cases evolving.  The one already existing for me and the one against the men who falsely accused me.  She said to not get it intermingled in my mind, because as I was helping somebody else build another case, I may not really be helping myself.  I allowed myself to believe that whoever these people were, they would step up and somehow help me in my trial, because they always indicated their belief in my innocence.  In retrospect, my friend's cautions turned out to be somewhat accurate.  In my always wanting to think positive it clouded me with a bit too much optimism (if there is such a thing).  I did have a lot of information in those dialogues that could have been very useful in my defense had I only had an attorney who was willing to read the dialogues or at the very least listen when I summarized the information.  It would have given him direction in strategy and several avenues for investigation.  Neither of which he was willing to acknowledge.  He just constantly belly-ached that he did not know how to defend me or explain my case to a jury.  He said he would not touch conspiracy theory and that the issues were too complicated for a jury to understand.

These Internet chats are important now because it serves as evidence in my habeas corpus application that my trial attorney had certain pertinent information, did not investigate further and did not use this information in the trial to set up a substantial defense in my favor.  He held this information for over two years prior to my trial and returned it to me weeks before the trial, saying he never read it and would not use it.  This constitutes clear evidence of incompetent defense.

Following is one of the first Internet chat dialogues asking me details and supplying the overall direction I was to take.  My chat name was "ifonlythiswasover" and their name was "lionheartix"...we were speaking of the false accusations, what I needed to recall and how to go about documenting it.



lionheartix:  you tell your attorney what is happening.  you can tell us, we believe you as being truthful.....they (the false accusations) are not testimonies yet.  they need to be truth to be testimony.

ifonlythiswasover:  truth so far has not prevailed.


lionheartix:  in a court of law, anyone can say or do anything.  one little factual lie, and once proven, it becomes the weak link that shoots the credibility of the whole case.


ifonlythiswasover:  and in a court of law that may be what people swear to...but if the stakes are too high it will not happen...you KNOW that.


lionheartix:  that is where you start...one little untruth.....if you can show ONE little fact that they said you did and you can prove otherwise...then that starts the credibility issue on the other side.


ifonlythiswasover:  so you believe my attorney can work that?


lionheartix:  hell yes...that is his job...and if he understands circumstances of how they could do this to you, your attorney will do what needs to be done.  these guys have done a lot of dumb things in the past 20 years and YOU know them all!


ifonlythiswasover:  yes, I agree


lionheartix:  what else were they told by you that they had liabilities (exposure items) they were unaware of?


ifonlythiswasover:  if they cheat on their wives, deception is a lifestyle...wouldn't they just continue?


lionheartix:  write them down!  your attorney will use them to cross


ifonlythiswasover:  including his business partner?...since he has gotten so involved and seems to be running this?  In my book draft I have focused mostly on my false accuser (the contributor).


lionheartix:  that is right (both of them).   look to what has been shown to them prior to your resignation, and what else you caught them doing...do they put their fingers in the candy jar?  do they do unscrupulous things with taxes?  do you have any evidence of them cheating?  another woman?  an escort service they use regularly? 


ifonlythiswasover:  yes, they had women.  one of them used a foundation to fund rehabilitation/therapy for a mistress once she left him. 


lionheartix:  tell about the foundation!


ifonlythiswasover:  I refused to do the tax returns on the foundation because of abuse of 501(c)3 status.


lionheartix:  who funded it?  who got paid? monthly, quarterly, once a week?


ifonlythiswasover:  the business partner mostly and a local ministry was involved with subsequent payments of living expenses once release from rehab....


lionheartix:  what checks did you write to pay off women?  do you get my drift?


ifonlythiswasover:  there were some over the years for both men...


lionheartix:  you need to go over all their dealings in your head, write them down...just start brainstorming....write them here.  Go over general ledger items...see what triggers your memory when you start classifying general ledger items.  Where again did you tell them they were vulnerable?  what made them nervous?


ifonlythiswasover:  The business partner would always ask me what I saw as a problem...


lionheartix:  use those items you told them....yes...you told him what you thought were problems...that's exactly what we need to know.  you have to find the way to trigger all those memories and to write each item down...your next twenty years (of freedom) depend on it.


ifonlythiswasover:  it comes to me in my sleep


lionheartix:  when it does, you need a paper and pen next to the bed.  you wake up and write down everything.  believe me, once you do it, you will be amazed at what you can get on paper during a 6 hour sleep.  don't worry about yourself...treat it like Nate and Brandon depend on it.


ifonlythiswasover:  yeah...that helps...just don't want to have fear get in the way...that is the biggest blocker.


lionheartix:  your job in the next couple of months is several...bring in income, build credibility and a good defense and take care of your kids.  NO FEAR...just determination to DO IT


ifonlythiswasover:  the income will be the hardest because of what I now have on record, at least that is still my belief.


lionheartix:  what do you have on record?


ifonlythiswasover:  the reports, the newspaper, the talk


lionheartix:  you are innocent!  you have NOT been proven guilty of taking one thin dime!  All bullshit.  you only say what you need to say.  you get a job, you don't talk about the problems...period.


ifonlythiswasover:  I know but people have perceptions...its finding those who will stay clear with me...will be the challenge.  do you know RG?


lionheartix:  no, who is he?


ifonlythiswasover:  he worked with them for years....(more details)...okay...I think he may have stories that would be useful in all this.


lionheartix:  good, write them down.  one will lead to another, and another, and another...until you finally get the one that they can't talk away.  work on the wife angle, what did he do against her that screwed her out of millions during their divorce attempts?  what did he ask you to do against her?  what can her friends offer?...you just need to point your attorney in the right direction. 


ifonlythiswasover:  I don't like digging up dirt (named several improprieties).


lionheartix:  Audrey, now is not the time for you to get moralistic....you need to fight fire with fire.  Those items are highly worthy of bringing up and rehashing....all the divorcing and mistresses during the years on both guys.  get those maternal instincts working and PROTECT your family.  the business partner had a charitable organization to take care of ex-lovers?  the foundation then pays a church who then helps them in college and living expenses, etc....it has all been filtered.  Beat that credibility, they can all be exposed...The Church of What's Happening Now?  That is called money laundering!  The Feds would be interested in that info, for sure.


ifonlythiswasover:  the business partner would tell me ...there is a great imbalance (of money) in the system and he knew they would come after his money to even things out....they being the powers who redistribute wealth.


lionheartix:  write that down!  what was the conversation that led to these revelations?  Darling, you have so much in your head!  Just fire it out there!  and write each item down.


ifonlythiswasover:  middle of the night he just calls me..not uncommon for him to ruminate over this fear.


lionheartix:  write them down!  remember all those conversations!


ifonlythiswasover:  I guess I was a (financial) confidante...now he fears that?


lionheartix:  yes...for sure...and he should fear that.  you are now unlocking the secret to....WHY!


ifonlythiswasover:  I would have never gotten to this place if he had just left me alone...I suppose it is his ruminating that brought us to this point?


lionheartix:  think retro-ly.  go back into your memory and write down all those conversations.  why did he call you about something...what was the circumstance that upset him to call in the first place?


ifonlythiswasover:  maybe he was serious all those years when he said "Audrey, if you ever leave us....we'll have to kill you."


lionheartix:  go for it...that needs to be told too!  you never told me that.  he threatened you all those years and you thought he was joking?


ifonlythiswasover:  I didn't take it seriously....he said it with a smile...a real sick smile, I suppose.


lionheartix:  that is what you need to go with...your own brainstorming of these issues....remember all of this...and build on each item.  when you get back here (Texas) we will spend one evening a week brainstorming over all this and get more out of your memory.  keep writing......


That was the beginnings of a volume of chats that sit almost a foot high.  I will share more as time goes....but now you know my mission....if I had only had an attorney who was willing to investigate the wealth of knowledge I departed to my "team".