tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857154425830550132024-03-18T23:30:52.618-05:00Treasures of the HeartYour heart will be where your treasure is. ~Matthew 6:21Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-8569643500787778342013-09-03T14:11:00.000-05:002013-09-03T23:06:01.456-05:00Just What I Needed!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Have you ever had a prayer answered just at the right time in just the right way? That happened to me in November 1991 when I least expected it. I had married in May of 1990. We had our first son a year later in May 1991 and in November of 1991 I was already pregnant again with our second child and was clearly in a failing marriage. My husband was alcoholic and on a regular basis did not even bother to come home. I was providing all the income, he was drinking what ever income he made. I didn't know what to do, because really everything I said or did just seemed to backfire.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It was real clear in my mind what I wanted. I wanted to have a complete family, I wanted my children to know their father, I wanted to have a husband who was present and I wanted to get back to church. I grew up going to church but in my adult life I had let my career trump everything and distanced myself from church. Now with a budding family I wanted my children to know the comfort and feel the security of a church family, as well as learn the many teachings of the Bible. I just didn't know how to get back, as I had been gone so long (almost 20 years). I wondered if I would be judged. I wondered if I could catch up with all the years I missed. In some ways I felt like the prodigal daughter.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Funny how things happen and the Lord works out the details. I met with several of my relatives for dinner in that November of 1991. I brought my infant son and had no idea where my husband even was that evening. I was just glad to be having dinner with family. We met at the Galleria in Dallas, ate at El Fenix, sitting right by the ice rink. I remember it so well. The occasion was my cousin and her husband had just moved into the mid-cities area and her parents were in East Texas and they had other relatives in from Tennessee. We couldn't miss an opportunity for all of us to visit. As we were eating we started discussing the reason for my cousin's move to the area. Nancy and her husband, Sam, a Baptist minister, had decided to start a new church. Not just any church, but a church for seekers, a church for the unchurched, a perfect place for me to begin again!! A plàce to bring my family.</div>
<br />
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
They told me their plans. I knew it would be quite a trek over to the mid-cities from Garland but that didn't matter to me. They invited me to be part of the core group and help them start the church. In on the planning...how I loved that idea. And, what a journey it was. I learned so much, felt so loved and accepted and was thrilled my boys were learning the Bible and had the delight of being surrounded by fellow Christians. I've got to hand it to Nancy and Sam, they had a vision, a mission, if you will, and they made it happen with the Lord guiding them the whole way. Now just over twenty years later Nancy and Sam have written a book. The name is <strong><em>Bear Valley and Me - Married To A Church Planter </em></strong>by Nancy & Samuel W. Carmack, Ph.D.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
What made this church so different is the way it welcomed seekers. People knowing they wanted more in their life but unsure how to approach the church. The long established churches quite often seem cliquish, more like a country club environment....how does someone break into that? How about the human condition...how does someone feel welcome when they have been through so much life, not always doing what a church goer might do? What if they don't know anything about the Bible and its teachings, would they be ostracized? Those are all things that were taken into consideration when forming this new church.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The book is written from Nancy's perspective as she kept copious journals throughout the experience. She shares with us her trepidations, her personal growth, her lowest moments and her greatest moments. This book is written with so much authenticity and intimacy I just wanted to go running to my cousin and give her the biggest hug for giving me something to read that I could relate to in all areas of my life. To top it off, Pastor Sam made comments and provided us with additional learnings throughout the book. So, we have the journey from a husband and wife perspective, what a rare insight they have provided for us.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I am not going to tell you anything else...go get the book and see what you think and how it relates to your own life... it's available on Amazon. It reads like a letter from your best friend. If you have ever read any of Nancy's blogs you will know just what I mean! Then come back and tell me what you think. I am open for discussion and would encourage it. If there were more churches like Bear Valley, we would have a different world. I believe that.</div>
<br />
Happy Reading!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-66618596835664254812012-11-22T12:51:00.000-06:002012-11-22T21:15:23.287-06:00Thanks - All Shapes and Forms!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
One of the most extraordinary experiences I ever had in my life was Thanksgiving in prison. Stripping us of all that we have certainly gives way for clearing the clutter and provides the opportunity to really know what is important. I must admit I have taken things for granted a time or two.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was recently reading a wonderful Thanksgiving blog by <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-protess/victims-of-injustice_b_2160944.html">David Protess, President of Chicago Innocence Project.</a> It brought back so many memories of this day. In 2007, following my September wrongful conviction I remember waking up in Dallas County Jail on Thanksgiving morning. I felt sad beyond belief, Thanksgiving had always been one of our favorite family holidays. I could not imagine going through this day without my loved ones. I don't think I could have endured the thought of 2 more Thanksgivings like this, thinking I would be out on an Appeals bond in no time. I suppose it is good we are protected from knowing the future. It allows us to walk slowly through our life experiences and perhaps find something we might not have seen otherwise.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Indeed, that day I found some jewels to place in my treasure chest. When I started circulating that morning in the Day Room which was shared by 32 women I began to pick up the festive mood. Everyone was excited, this is the one day we were allowed a meal with "meat on a bone" meaning real meat as opposed to a soy pattie. But more than that I began to pick up a family feeling. With all our divergent backgrounds we had been creating a family, one that would be strengthened by that days events. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As I walked around talking to several women I found many were engrossed in the studies of their Bible. It seemed even more than usual. One woman from the streets, a beautiful lady really, informed me that they purposely get arrested this time of year so they have food and shelter. Hmm, I never really thought of that possibility for the homeless but it made sense I suppose. Another told me they just wish society would be kinder when they got out, as they really did want to work an honest job but nobody would hire them. People were really opening up that day, more so than I had seen in the two months prior, talking about their feelings, their hopes, their lost families. Perhaps I was just more open that day too, allowing myself to feel so many raw feelings of my own.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But what struck me even more was what happened about an hour before we had dinner. All the women started scurring around this enormous room gathering each other, holding hands and forming an enormous circle. Then a song of praise started with some of the most beautiful voices I had ever heard. The ceilings were two stories high and the accoustics were amazing. When the song ended one of the women said to the group we would pray together, going around the circle giving each person a chance to add to our prayer of thanks. And do you know what each person prayed about? You might think it was freedom, release, money....not any of that. Every single person there prayed for others...for family members, their children, their husband, their mom and dad, neices, nephews and each other. They prayed for their loved ones' safety, growth, health and happiness. They asked God for His presence in our lives as well as theirs. And some actually thanked God for being locked up so they could get away from drugs and all that was bad in their lives. It was a humbling and most loving experience and brought us all so close. There were a lot of tears, a lot of smiles. God's love was so evident. We sang old hymes together, remembered from our church days. And a couple women with exceptional singing voices did solos...the power of God in that room brought nothing less than awe.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Today, as I cook our turkey and sit at the table with my loving family to share our dinner I know I have been enriched by this experience and I know in the many prisons and jails across our Nation the people who have been silenced, many forgotten, are right now holding hands, praying for us and singing praises. Perhaps we can find a place in our hearts to pray for each of them and for a better tomorrow.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!</div>
<br />
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-84746370567434344872012-04-10T21:55:00.000-05:002012-04-11T11:44:34.526-05:00The Power of Participation<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This past Thursday, April 5, I had the honor of accompanying Nate to the Special Olympics, Track & Field Event. Nate has not attended for several years now and we thought we'd give it our best. When his brother, Brandon, dropped us off, Nate jumped right out of the car and we happily walked hand-in-hand together. Nate came to right outside the track where his school was camped out and turned around and started running back toward the parking lot. I haven't seen Nate run in years so already the exercise was beginning (for both of us!). A few of the teachers (and it took a few) helped me bring Nate back. We had to do a whole bunch of sweet talking. Nate does not like crowds of people, new experiences or lots of noise and activity. I really wanted him to give it a try, for him to know he was safe and quite able to get through this. Had he escalated we would have had Brandon come pick us up but it wasn't necessary after all and Brandon was able to go on to his college classes for the day and return in time to help Nate in his last event. Once we were able to get Nate seated one of his teachers pulled out several books. Nate has always loved books. He loves to read and he loves to have someone read to him so we were able to create comfortable territory amidst all the activity.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Besides all the teachers, teachers' aids, parents and students there were many volunteers. At Nate's school they have a leadership class that spends time with the students in Nate's class on an individual basis. They are called "pals" and have brought much happiness to Nate during his school days. These pals helped prepare Nate for the Track & Field events by going on long walks together through the halls of the school, including up and down the stairs. In addition, they worked at throwing balls which was also one of Nate's events. Sometimes they all cook together and other times read. Nate has really responded well to this program and has become more interactive as a result. You can see them in their green shirts at the event.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Nate had a tremendous day at Special Olympics, accomplished a lot and walked out of there with confidence I haven't seen in years. Nate doesn't seem to have a competitive nature whatsoever but he was very proud of his medals and wore them throughout the weekend. In fact today he chose to wear them to school. Giant steps! What some people would consider baby steps are enormous for these kids and young adults and we celebrate every one of them along the way. What a gift, to be a parent to each of my two guys...Nate and Brandon. Following are a couple pictures from that day.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6TYHstSHOL3AX_PkZbSpeSyzoO6Mv9t3X6r6OwQIUjZ3muxQWslhpLI4Q8eM06NCDf_53KL3OsVPW_yArfSeD67L0mu84KVXluFwTGc9U6XlVYP6FoR8x-4UoyoEZBKLcqvO8jcqvZrQf/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6TYHstSHOL3AX_PkZbSpeSyzoO6Mv9t3X6r6OwQIUjZ3muxQWslhpLI4Q8eM06NCDf_53KL3OsVPW_yArfSeD67L0mu84KVXluFwTGc9U6XlVYP6FoR8x-4UoyoEZBKLcqvO8jcqvZrQf/s400/photo.JPG" width="297" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Nate with volunteer about to start 25 meter walk.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgib04nnkaWzAGtn6aNtJiR_FkAKNyjPxzFmVXqT8ZpEv5sZbeJluO1lUw9r6on-bfX702yjewCjsqSDhJu8QpiNiXKEmek9U7R8xuT_PYIggn8eSnQrAB8JYFnfouhh7pKcaZzdca8T0TI/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgib04nnkaWzAGtn6aNtJiR_FkAKNyjPxzFmVXqT8ZpEv5sZbeJluO1lUw9r6on-bfX702yjewCjsqSDhJu8QpiNiXKEmek9U7R8xuT_PYIggn8eSnQrAB8JYFnfouhh7pKcaZzdca8T0TI/s320/photo+(1).JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Nate coached by Brandon on his tennis ball throw. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
You can see Nate wearing his medal from 25 meter walk.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="justify" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
On the back of some of the kids t-shirts was a great saying: </div>
<div align="justify" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
"God please let me win and if not, give me the courage and strength to finish."</div>
<div align="justify" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="justify" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="justify" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Beautiful kids, beautiful day.</div>
<div align="justify" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="justify" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
A real inspiration.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="justify" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
</div>Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-48732315901026206302012-02-27T15:14:00.000-06:002012-02-27T16:53:22.993-06:00'Tis The Tax Season<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I remember about 15 years ago listening to a sermon by Pastor Sam. He said something that caused me to sit up straight and listen. It was a very simple message. If you are working for someone who is dishonest or has dishonest practices, then leave and find an honest job. What and whom we associate with will form who we are. I have learned over my many years that boundaries are vital, in our personal relationships as well as our business relationships.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />Another friend and very wise person once said "be careful who you walk with, for those that are dirty will eventually explode into a million pieces and you will get dirty."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />Well, it had taken me a year and half to find a full time job with one of these tax services. I will not mention the name here, but what I saw and heard I knew was not good. "Come on in" they would say, "we will get you the best tax refunds." Preparers were given instruction to reduce self employment income or increase expenses or deductions to maximize tax credits. I was not a preparer, but only a processor so I told myself that is not me. Then the phone calls started rolling in from unhappy customers. Those who said there was education credits on their return when they did not go to school. Or dependents were taken off and other things substituted without their knowledge. The fear in me just grew exponentially over night, to the point I felt paralyzed.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />This past Saturday, I said, NO MORE. Go out and find an honest job. Even though I wasn't making those entries into tax returns I was at a place with dishonest practices. PERIOD. My pastor and my wise friend were right. I cannot be associated with that sort of behavior. I set my boundaries and resigned, effective immediately. As a result of what I saw I want to point out things to watch for so that you will not become prey to those looking to make a quick tax preparer fee as you travel through the maze of tax preparation.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQRieDyxnRuFNOoaLGaptEDfjjyeGzRnmYItivWo_f_ttSwPSml7V1Jgf269RLFf9DFdZzl5IQC0lSU2vfOet_phfEGuglqQvDlbeTam5NPiz9YW6sVYY2XRMZtRhYjpuMYNQs8naF8AA/s1600/is.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQRieDyxnRuFNOoaLGaptEDfjjyeGzRnmYItivWo_f_ttSwPSml7V1Jgf269RLFf9DFdZzl5IQC0lSU2vfOet_phfEGuglqQvDlbeTam5NPiz9YW6sVYY2XRMZtRhYjpuMYNQs8naF8AA/s320/is.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Number ONE and a very big ONE. The taxpayer is responsible for everything in their return. If there is something done improperly, credits taken or deductions/expenses unsupported, it is the taxpayer who will pay interest and penalties and perhaps face tax fraud charges. So be aware of every entry to your return and make certain you have a copy of what was actually submitted (most often it is an electronic submission these days). If the electronic submission is rejected by IRS, the tax preparer may decide to fix internally without ever contacting you. That is okay if there is just a keypunch error they are correcting but not okay if they are juggling things in return without your knowledge...to make it look as though you have a refund similar to what you remember but not the same details as you provided at your meeting.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />Beware of anyone who says they will get you the best deal. Tax refunds and tax returns are not "deals" to be negotiated or tweaked. They are, in fact, exactly what they are. They are an historical accounting of what transpired financially in the prior year. Nothing more and nothing less.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />Never go to a preparer whose fees are a percentage of your refund. They are definitely motivated to help themselves, possibly at your expense. When filing a tax return, there are no contingency winnings, there are no risks to take. Your return is exactly what your prior year economics spelled out to be. Watch out for those who suggest you take "aggressive tax strategies".</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />Take a close look at your tax preparer. Is this someone you would want representing you at the IRS should problems arise or a tax audit be required by IRS?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />If the "tax office" feels sleazy, then it probably is sleazy. You are not at a used car sales lot. You are placing your most confidential information in the hands of somebody you most definitely need to be able to trust. Protect yourself, put your sleaze antennas on, ask a lot of questions. If they are evasive in their answers, or don't seem to have answers, that is a sign of someone not qualified to do your tax return preparation. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />In staying with the new title of my blog....Treasures of the Heart. Take care of yourselves and your loved ones. Only surround yourself with those who are honest and trustworthy in all of your dealings. Be prudent and do your due diligence. If you find yourself in a dishonest situation, remove yourself immediately. While treasures of the heart refer to those things that are heavenly, how we live on earth really does spell out our priorities.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-38061044666849050852011-12-22T16:00:00.000-06:002011-12-25T16:15:16.952-06:00My Thoughts At Christmas<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Each year that goes by it seems I get more nostalgic, more appreciative and full of wonder. As one of my ex-clients used to say "Yes, Audrey life is much simpler when one is less wealthy." Well, simpler in some respects, less cluttered, maybe? It seems, for me, my senses are more keen, might be a function of living in survival mode. I have come to enjoy moments that I previously didn't behold, maybe I was going too fast or had too much piled into my days. Here are some of my favorites:</div>
<ul>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
The sweet smiles, belly-laughs and words coming from Nate, my special needs son, who I was told when he was just 5 years old he was "rather hopeless" and would "probably just need to be institutionalized." He is now 20 years old and one of my greatest pleasures in life.</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
Watching Brandon become a fine young man, as he works, goes to college and plays the keyboards in a band called "Set The Sun". He wants it all and is reaching for the stars. He is not afraid to state his opinion or ask a question when things don't make sense. He portrays strength, determination, yet still has a place for acts of kindness. He recently bought me a peppermint mocha at Starbucks, now that is kindness!</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
My husband's resolve to get up each day, move around when his body screams "NO". It warms my heart to see him fight hard for a certain quality in his life. And regardless of the pain he can always find room for one more joke.</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
All the people who have never left my side (or that of my family's) through the tough times. These people have helped when we have needed help, sometimes that help took the form of a word of encouragement, a quoted Bible verse or a heartfelt hug, other times much more.</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
The people at St Andrew's Methodist Church, the Seven Loaves Program, who open their arms to us and always call Nate by name. They include us in their prayer circles and thank God for the opportunity to serve us. Nate usually sings through their prayers while I silently include my thanks to God for their being there and pray for the day when I can pay forward.</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
I am grateful for the fine people of Project: Not Guilty who stand behind me on my case and give great encouragement and support. Likewise for those in the Innocence Project (Texas and Chicago) who provide insight and encouragement even though my case is non-DNA. I pray also for the day when I am able to give back by helping those in the same predicament (or "pickle" as my husband once called it).</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
I love the childhood memory of growing up in Maryland and eating snow ice cream, dancing around the Christmas tree and sitting quietly by the fireplace....just feeling the warmth and security of our home, family and faith.</div>
</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I notice this year the outside Christmas decorations seem more sparkly, the colors of Christmas seem more vibrant and the Christmas songs more touching. We have one Christmas decoration up this year. It is this beautiful wreath made by my dear and talented friend Michele Mosser. She made it for us in 2001 and it is still shining brightly. I tried to take a picture of it to show you but the picture didn't begin to portray its beauty so you'll just have to come see it and stay for a cup of coffee!<br />
<br />
Now here is a Christmas picture from the past, one of my favorite places (for Nancy, get out your magnifying glass - there is a manger scene in there):<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jnyHLHn4JDk/TvZBrK8AinI/AAAAAAAAAaA/x6mgGtrWy10/s1600/0712p118b-santa_fe-m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" rea="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jnyHLHn4JDk/TvZBrK8AinI/AAAAAAAAAaA/x6mgGtrWy10/s400/0712p118b-santa_fe-m.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
May the spirit of Christ be with you as you celebrate Christmas and head into the New Year!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Love to each of you,</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Audrey</div>
<br /></div>Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-6310005543204727812011-10-10T18:33:00.000-05:002011-10-12T11:30:43.537-05:00Occupy Wall Street - Lessons From The Past<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The Occupy Wall Street protests are bringing back memories of a different time, one I'd like to share with you. There are obvious differences between these two movements and there are parallels that cannot be ignored.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
On a cool, crisp spring day, April 4, 1968, I had retreated into our basement in our Maryland home. I was 13 years old and loved to sew. Our sewing machine was set up in our comfortable family room. With a finished out basement it was like living in a two story home. Our old Singer sat on the old red card table. With iron and ironing board close by and the cutting board splayed across the floor I was busy creating new summer outfits. Along side me was our radio. It was tuned to WPGC and I was listening to all the hits of the day with Wolfman Jack as the radio announcer (this was years before he became syndicated). Wolfman was asking us to call in our requests. The Vietnam War was in full swing and many of the songs on the radio reflected the sentiments of the war.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then all at once the radio program was interrupted to report the shooting of Martin Luther King. I had some knowledge of the civil rights movement as my civics teacher had included MLK and his work in our class lectures during that school year. I remember how she introduced this subject. On a little record player she had brought from home she played The Young Rascals song <a href="http://www.uulyrics.com/music/rascals/song-people-got-to-be-free/">People Got To Be Free.</a> A presentation I will never forget.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I knew what I had just heard on the radio about MLK was tragic and important. I ran upstairs to tell my mother. Later that evening, our family gathered around our little black and white television as the facts unfolded. His violent death rocked the entire nation, riots were shooting up everywhere. What scared me the most was the riots and looting were heavy on the Washington DC/Maryland line. We lived just seven miles south of DC, across Branch Ave. from Andrews Air Force base, in a small town called Clinton. But, even worse, my mom worked in the office of a retail store called Woodward & Lothrops, located right on the DC line. My mom felt she needed to continue to go to work and believed she would be safe. But as the riots and looting continued and fanned out, the area where she worked became questionable. My dad called her at work and insisted she come home while we all waited impatiently for her. She returned to us safe and we were relieved.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
What then transpired after the days of rioting subsided were buses and buses from all over the country bringing black people to DC. They came as a memorial to MLK, they came peacefully out of respect for MLK's life works and they came to make peaceful demonstrations on the need for government intervention in civil rights. Their methods were a way of honoring and progressing MLK's messages. Demonstrating the need for action now.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Shantytown was constructed surrounding the long Reflection Pool between the stately Lincoln Memorial and the towering Washington Monument. It was made up of tents and lean-to open room shacks set out to house those who were bused into DC. My parents took our family to see Shantytown. We climbed up the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and looked out toward the Washington Monument. As we looked over the quiet and orderly temporary town built within the nation's capital my father said to us "Look carefully and remember. I want you to see this, as history is being made today." I remember tears coming to my eyes, I was touched. There before me represented a great deal of pain and determination. My dad further explained, good people were standing up for themselves, asking for equality and justice.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
Their purpose was to get both houses of Congress and the President to take notice and understand the importance and power behind the long needed changes in legislating civil rights for all. They were perhaps the greatest and most convincing lobbyist of our time, a formidable power. It was past time to place the Constitution of the United States, as agreed upon by our founding fathers, into play for <u>all</u> citizens. In this case, laws were needed to direct social issues, ensure equal opportunities and treatment, and eventually move stubborn attitudes that had persisted since the days of slavery.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As a result over the next several years, there was an outpouring of civil rights legislated and affirmative action programs initiated....and change occurred at all levels. It is still far from perfect, but there have been great strides.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
There were vital aspects of this movement that made it successful. The people were speaking from their hearts, they were determined, they were highly organized with very specific goals and they approached our country's lawmakers with the greatest respect, even when they were not entirely trusting of those people who had been voted into place.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Our current day OWS have some legitimate complaints, our country has long been in economic crisis and we cannot go on as we are. We are sorely in need of Congress working together rather than all the political posturing we see. We agree there cannot be waste of our tax dollars. This past weekend we saw many people joining this movement who have spent a lifetime working hard and have lost everything. So many people are unemployed who want to work, they are not looking for handouts. They are demanding answers, they are demanding opportunities. They are demanding our country work together to resolve these outstanding issues. Yes, there are many individual agendas, there appears to be some disorganization but they could learn from the days that followed MLK's death, from a movement that was peaceful, organized and clear about what they wanted to see change. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
One of their biggest complaints is that of greed. It is my humble opinion they will get nowhere with that approach. Greed has existed since the beginning of time....its there in the Bible. Further, are the wealthy people and corporations being greedy or are they operating within the boundaries which have been set out by our laws and maximizing profits as called for in their purpose and agreement with stockholders? Have we forgotten the massive numbers of charitable organizations funded by these individuals and groups? On the other hand, is it right for the government to take hard earned tax dollars and bail out the largest financial institutions which turn around and pay millions in bonuses to a few? That is hard to swallow, especially when we see the unemployment lines and the millions in bread lines and soup kitchens. And how about the failing small businesses? We see more and more empty store fronts each day.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The OWS are asking for a return to democracy, whereby we have a government representative of all its people. This is not about Obama, this is not about Bush, this is about a country that is fractured and needs healing. This is about listening to the people...we the people.... But OWS methods can make them or break them. They need a responsible leadership group within their organization. They do not need outsiders from the Mideast coming in and taking charge and teaching violence. Nothing will be accomplished that way, with violence our cities will just become more broken.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So for today, I pray, if their decision is to persist then they will become more organized, determine how best to accomplish their goals and become very specific in those goals, working within the system as the civil rights movement did in the late 60's.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-44078190342443497022011-09-17T12:34:00.000-05:002011-09-17T17:31:55.527-05:00More Questions Than Answers!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In my last blog I was telling you about my one week in Santa Fe Women's Detention Center, prior to being released on bail, as a result of the Grand Jury indictment in Dallas. You may be wondering why it took a week, as we hear about it just taking hours or a day when we read the newspaper or watch television. I can tell you, I was arrested on April 7, 2004 which was a Wednesday just prior to Easter weekend. The amount of the bond was not an issue as I was considered a low flight risk, it was set at $20,000 which translates to $2,000 plus I was allowed to remain living in New Mexico. But, I had at least a couple things creating delays. One was not having any experience in such matters whatsoever, my family and I didn't know how the system worked or I should say, how to work the system. The other of course was being Easter weekend and Good Friday, the system just wasn't working, everyone was taking off and coordinating efforts between Dallas, TX and Santa Fe, New Mexico was next to impossible. Judges in and out, attorneys here and there, families to be with, Easter egg hunts to administer....</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As I previously mentioned, my <a href="http://alllthingsworktogetherforgood.blogspot.com/2011/09/transformation-within-jailprison.html">first 32 hours </a>were spent in a holding cell. Following the arraignment I was given a khaki-colored uniform and taken to the "back" where those staying were housed. The general population "pod" where I was assigned held 24 inmates with 2 to a cell, the individual cells sharing a day room and showers. There were tables and a television in the day room. This was a bit better than the holding cell but certainly not the comforts of home.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My first roommate was a young woman in her early twenties, also a mom. Evangeline was helpful, explaining how things worked in the system, as well as how to get along within the group of women. There are many unwritten rules for surviving.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The next day following the transfer was Good Friday. We had a visit from the Archbishop out of Santa Fe. He came into our pod and gave a very touching prayer asking for redemption of our lost souls. I had tears in my eyes and just held on tight. I wanted to be with my two sons. I didn't even get to say goodbye to them or assure them I love them and would be home soon. When they took me away from my home the morning of the 7th, Nate was still sleeping and Brandon had spent the night with a friend since it was spring break. Prior to the Archbishop's visit I kept pushing my boys out of my mind because the pain of possibly losing them was more than I could endure. With the Archbishop there and God's presence feeling closer than ever I could no longer avoid those thoughts and feelings.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The grief felt unbearable as though it was pressing in on my heart and I could barely breathe. How could those men who falsely accused me be so cruel? How could their lies have the power to rip me away from my dear family? How could people be nothing more than objects to discard when you are finished with them? Was it just cold-hearted business or was there more? Was there something else that I had in my possession or was in my memory that they were afraid of my telling? What was their motivation to destroy another human beings life on this earth? If I couldn't think like them, then how could I ever figure this out? In His time, and His way, would God give me the answers and with this, the understanding, grace and protection to move forward? This was my prayer.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As time passed, I talked and shared with more of the women. I went to every Bible study and became more hopeful. A couple women were interested in the Dialogue process that we used at The NOAH Project. We used this process with the parents of the children and our staff to explore beliefs we held about our special children, discard beliefs that did not help us or our children and decide on new beliefs to replace those that no longer served us. On an individual basis I worked with each of these women. One woman explored her self destructive choices with drugs and the other woman decided to explore her tendency toward engaging in abusive relationships.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
After the dialogue, each woman commented on how refreshing it was to just be asked questions to help explore and to not be judged. They were used to everybody giving them advice but this was the first experience they had where the person (me) trusted them to have their own answers and to know they were their own best expert. I smiled as I knew they were building their own skills to help themselves and this was just a beginning if they so chose. I suggested a couple books of <a href="http://www.option.org/custom:online-store-and-library,single,406">Barry Neil Kaufman's</a> if they wanted to go further with this learning. I was inspired by their personal strength and their wanting to heal and grow their lives.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was bonded on Monday at 4:00 p.m. but it actually took two more days for Santa Fe to release me. The Judge in Santa Fe had set a "no bond", and had given Texas 10 days to come for me....which they did not do....it took an additional amount of time to get that cleared, bringing my stay to exactly 7 long days (and long nights) which at the time seemed like an eternity. Even then I'm sure God knew I would have to endure much MUCH more before this nightmare was over. I remind myself often (then and now) God does not give us more than we can handle and He is always with us, we are not alone. <br />
<br /></div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-48464035741671687272011-09-07T11:33:00.000-05:002011-09-08T21:40:47.142-05:00Transformation Within the Jail/Prison Culture<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I want to write often, as many things come to my mind, but so much relates to the details of my case and as you know that part has been shut down for the time. In staying with the purpose of my blog I have somewhat limited my scope. In thinking over this dilema I have returned to my book draft and the very earliest experiences of my case, I believe there are things I can speak to as they have nothing to do with my defense, the prosecution, pretrial hearings or the trial itself. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As a business woman, mom and rule follower, not at all acquainted with our justice system, I found I was in for an enormous culture shock. Part of the preparation I had to handle this was in the 70's at the University of New Mexico. I had taken a few sociology and psychology classes and from one of those had a reading assignment that made a tremendous impact on my thinking. Alvin Toffler's book "Future Shock" was the beginning of my training grounds. His definition of "future shock" was "too much change in too short a period of time". Ah, yes that certainly did happen to me. While Toffler was talking about the accelerated rate of technological and social change leaving us disconnected and with a feeling of "shattering stress and disorientation", I could apply that feeling to the culture I found in the bowels of our justice system, that being the county jail in Santa Fe, New Mexico. In addition, my many years of attending courses at <a href="http://www.option.org/index.php">The Option Institute</a> in Sheffield, MA, coupled with my Christian beliefs brought me through the experience.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was first contacted by a Dallas PD detective December 9, 2003. I was then indicted by a Grand Jury in March 2004. I was officially notified of that indictment by a call from the DPD detective on the morning of April 5, 2004. Following that call I spoke to several attorneys both in New Mexico and Texas. I was arrested 48 hours later on April 7, as I was on the phone arranging payment and transfer of information to a Dallas attorney. I was taken to the county jail in Santa Fe. It was an entire week before I was released on bail. That week is what I want to share with you over the next couple blog posts. Following is an excerpt from my book draft:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em> Being in jail was like walking into a whole different country with a completely new language. My first 32 hours were spent in the holding cell. There were 8 to 10 of us women at any time, dressed in red pants and shirts, sitting on benches that surround the inner wall, with a metal toilet sitting at one end of the room. At the other end was the door which was bolted, latched and electronically controlled, with a long thin window. The walls were made of cinder block and painted a dreary white, the floors were cement, which I understand is quite vogue these days. This was a stark contrast from the last time I stayed overnight in Santa Fe at the beautiful La Fonda Inn on the square with my two young sons.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em> There was absolutely nothing to do, so we all just talked like we'd known each other for years. Now some had heard of each other or knew of family members or distant relatives and a couple had an old boyfriend in common. This appeared to be a very small world that seemed to reacquaint itself from generation to generation inside these barricaded walls. Some were buying their supplies of crack from another's mother, while others were looking for a new source. This holding cell was a true place for "power" networking, depending on how one defines power.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em> Every sentence spoken had the "F-word" at least once and one time I was able to count up to four "F-words" in one sentence. I had to ask the woman how she did that, I was amazed at how she structured the sentence, and would have written it down if I'd only had a paper and pencil. The "F-word" can be used as an adjective, verb, noun, pronoun, adverb, even a dangling participle. To think, Webster's doesn't even seem to know this.</em><br />
<br />
<em> It took about three hours before anyone asked me why I was there; I hadn't offered and was content to listen to everybody else's stories. But, even there, the rules of being a group member apply. Once I started to explain, it seemed they were mesmerized because my story was so different from the others and we spent the next two hours on the subject of autism, belief systems and changing attitudes that create new beliefs.</em><br />
<br />
<em> What seemed to take place in those two hours was a group of women with very little hope transforming to a place of hope. After all, if there can be hope for these special needs kids who have been written off by society, couldn't there also be hope for them? This is a transformation they were able to generalize for themselves, it was not a thought I had directed. As humans, when we hear something, we naturally put it in perspective by seeing how it relates to self. After just three hours in jail, I had become an avid student of my fellow inmates, learning and adapting to this new culture. And, within four hours I found myself informally teaching (albeit to a captured audience) belief systems and how they mold our experiences.</em><br />
<br />
<em> "No place to go, nothing to do." Those were the words in a recent relaxation exercise in which I had participated. These words were meant to clear the clutter and chatter we carry in our heads. In jail, there were hours where time ticked away slower than I could barely stand, and to think I had actually worked at finding this place in my mind just a few weeks earlier. Everything I had come to know in the healing of my life was being tested. I found it difficult to sit still, especially since I didn't know how long I would be there and if they would ship me to Texas, regardless of my fear for my life. I knew the key to my sanity was to move out of these thoughts and stay completely in the present moment. I remembered one of the quotes from Barry Neil Kaufman's books "Unhappiness exists either as a regret about the past or a worry about the future. The cure: be present." I had the answer, now it was up to me to find that place of peacefulness and calm inside of me, </em><em>only focusing on the moment.</em><br />
<br />
<em> While public speaking and training others I had taught people we are in charge of our every life experience, I was struggling to hold that lesson for myself through the long, excruciating hours. I had to keep taking charge of my wandering fearful and angry thoughts. In the past I could move on by just consuming myself with doing something and quite often that took the form of allowing numbers to just wash through my existence. Someone in the cell started counting the cinder blocks to make the time go by. Those numbers did not comfort me; they only served to irritate me. I could not use my left brain to hide this time; I had to pull from the depths of my soul to keep going.</em><br />
<br />
<em> Another thing I had to learn was my every request would be ignored. I supposed this was some form of behavior modification, perhaps trying to teach us this was not the place to be. Or maybe this is where people worked who had a need to wield power over those who are helpless and did so under the guise of the penal system. I suspect the answer is both behavior modification and bullying needs being met; another form of displaced anger which continues to be fueled. I remember thinking, no wonder most inmates don't rehabilitate, there appears to be two responses to this treatment, one is anger and the other is to withdraw, each a matter of survival. I thought of the children who had come to us at The NOAH Project (special school for children with autism) from a behavior modification discipline and how some came in very angry and violent while the others were completely exclusive (within their own world), there seemed no middle ground.</em><br />
<br />
<em> Instead of the two extremes, I wanted that middle ground. I was looking for a happy place inside of me so time would pass effortlessly and I could create the best experience for myself moment to moment with every person I met, rather that person was a jailer, inmate or visitor. This became my focus and I found myself a much happier participant of what originally seemed to be an unfriendly, rigid system. I wanted to move beyond the survival mode to a place of meaningful existence.</em><br />
<br />
<em> There were times I could feel anger building and building inside of me, like a spiral down to darkness. There was anger toward my false accusers and the Detective. Sometimes the anger circled in my head as if it would explode and I would ask myself the questions, "How is this anger helping me? Is it somehow serving me?" and the answer was always "No." Then I'd remind myself, what we focus on becomes bigger. Years earlier, while working with Nate (my special needs son) in our home based program, I had decided to commit myself to love, compassion and being present to live each moment fully. By the end of the second day in jail I re-upped that commitment and repeated if often through those first four days.</em><br />
<br />
<em> I found I had to consciously direct my focus on what I wanted. When I did this, I was able to create much more positive actions which clearly served me. Eventually my focus for what I wanted became constant and a calm came over me. I came to believe no matter what happened I would be okay, letting go of the results and trusting, how often I had taught that to parents of children with autism. I then grew that light by giving myself a mental exercise of listing in my head, all that I was grateful for and sending that list up to God, it helps to share. I felt an intense sweet joy in those moments, a most unlikely attitude under these circumstances, but oh how it served me and my desire to have a meaningful existence.</em><br />
<br />
I will continue with the story of that week when I make my next post. Until then, think of all that you are grateful for and up the amps by 1,000.... Don't forget to share your gratitude as part of upping those amps! WOW, what a difference that can make in your life!<br />
<em> </em></div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-80721886856302104242011-09-04T12:48:00.002-05:002011-09-05T21:15:58.203-05:00Habeas Update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div closure_uid_qu2475="81" style="text-align: justify;">
<div closure_uid_nuzlwl="81">
<div closure_uid_rdhc3c="68">
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 marks a deadline related to the filing of my habeas corpus application. It is by this date in which the prosecution and the trial attorney for my case have to respond to my habeas application. Based on their responses the Judge will decide if there is to be a hearing prior to forwarding my habeas application on to the Appellate Court. I have felt confident and prayed a lot on this. Although this weekend, coming up to the date, I allowed some fear to sneak in because of what happened previously in my trial, now 4 years ago (9/10/07). </div>
</div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_qu2475="81" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_qu2475="81" style="text-align: justify;">
<div closure_uid_hu9ia2="68">
I have been doing daily devotionals with a dear friend of mine. We are using Max Lucado's devotional book called "Grace For The Moment - Volume 1". Each day I find that day's devotional speaks to me in some way. Today the devotional could not have been louder! God is such a wonder! Here are the words from Max Lucado's book: </div>
</div>
<blockquote>
<div closure_uid_qu2475="160" style="text-align: center;">
God Our Defender</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Here is a big question. What is God doing when you are in a bind? When the lifeboat springs a leak? When the rip cord snaps? When the last penny is gone before the last bill is paid?...</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I know what we are doing. Nibbling our nails like corn on the cob. Pacing floors. Taking pills......</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But what does God do?...</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div closure_uid_i35vre="68">
He fights for us. He steps into the ring and points us to our corner and takes over. "Remain calm; the Lord will fight for you." (Exodus 14:14).</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
His job is to fight. Our job is to trust.</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Just trust. Not direct. Or question....Our job is to pray and wait.</div>
</blockquote>
<div closure_uid_qu2475="110" style="text-align: justify;">
<div closure_uid_fp5rmm="69">
WOW!! How powerful and true. I have already proven that I couldn't win this case on my own. There is only ONE whom is all powerful and has the strength to fight evil. I needed this. Have faith! Pray and wait! I can do that. Nothing is gained by sitting in fear, in fact it diminishes my faith and trust. Once again, the lesson here is SURRENDER, allow God in my life, to do what He promises. I need to stop getting in His way.</div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_qu2475="110" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_qu2475="110" style="text-align: justify;">
I found another verse (one of many) that was so applicable and comforting:</div>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<strong>1 Peter 3:12-14</strong> <br />
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." </div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote closure_uid_qu2475="109">
<div closure_uid_qu2475="112" style="text-align: justify;">
Source: Holy Bible, New International Version </div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My job...to pray and wait.......</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote closure_uid_qu2475="109">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</blockquote>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-92126404895221365422011-08-22T00:16:00.000-05:002011-08-22T08:39:55.669-05:00"A Child's Bill of Rights"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<div closure_uid_r7pvno="69">
<div closure_uid_2aefby="87">
<div closure_uid_imso5e="68">
My cousin, Nancy, has an excellent post about really giving children the time they need to make decisions and do things their way. And, oh, what a freeing experience for all involved. Her blog post is entitled <a href="http://shilohpup-nwc.blogspot.com/2011/08/school-is-starting.html">School Is Starting.</a> It inspired me to share with you "A Child's Bill of Rights", which is so very important to keep in mind as we parent, teach and care for our children (even after they are grown). We framed this and had it hanging at The NOAH Project. As teachers and administrators at our school for children with autism, we respected these rights as they were at the core of our belief system. When children literally cannot speak up for themselves these rights become even more important, as they are more likely to be overlooked. </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: center;">
<div closure_uid_uws5f3="68">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">A Child's Bill of Rights</span></em></div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: center;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">by Fred M. Fariss </span></em></div>
<ul>
<li closure_uid_jzpdoz="137"><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have the right to live rather than exist.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to personhood rather than being an object of possession.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to equality with every other human being regardless of age.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to be respected with regard to my worth.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to be uniquely myself with my own identity.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to speak my thoughts and feelings, and to be heard.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to ask "Why" and to receive answers.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to receive discipline without hollering, discounts and put-downs.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to be encouraged to grow to maturity at my own pace.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to be free from physical harm at the hands of resentful people.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to be loved for being me.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right, with valid guidance, to think for myself, and to make decisions.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to be responsible for myself.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to feel joy, happiness, sorrow, bereavement and pain.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to be a winner.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have the right to care and be cared for, to nurture and be nurtured, to give and to receive.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to form my own convictions, beliefs and standards.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a right to know and experience personal freedom.</span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<em><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have the right to recognize and accept the rights of others regarding their Bill of Rights.</span></em></div>
</li>
</ul>
<div closure_uid_jzpdoz="83" style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
While on the subject of rights, as I was in my last post, and with the new school year beginning it seems appropriate to post this. Interesting enough, many of us need to give ourselves these permissions as grownups. Some of us did not get these permissions growing up and in other instances we gave them up as we matured. This is really a format for basic human rights. They sure would lend themselves to a healthier and safer world for us all to live in.</div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-67997940528782293882011-08-12T14:32:00.013-05:002013-06-11T08:05:52.585-05:00First Amendment, Right?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div closure_uid_112d22="84" closure_uid_fu83vz="69" closure_uid_w53sdh="68" style="text-align: justify;">
<div closure_uid_s6rxvw="68">
There is an interesting case which recently surfaced and it relates to our First Amendment Rights and blogging. I've been reading all the comments both for and against. Before I describe to you what is happening I want to set out the actual First Amendment Rights as follows:</div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_112d22="84" closure_uid_fu83vz="69" closure_uid_w53sdh="68" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="templatequote" closure_uid_112d22="84" closure_uid_w53sdh="68">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div closure_uid_w53sdh="70">
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<div closure_uid_112d22="84" closure_uid_w53sdh="71" style="text-align: justify;">
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="130">
It is my understanding this Amendment speaks to 5 freedoms: (1) freedom to speak freely without government intervention, (2) freedom of press, (3) freedom of religion, (4) freedom to appeal or lobby to legislative bodies for or against legislation, and (5) freedom to peacefully gather in public, to march, demonstrate, protest, or otherwise express views. Further, originally this applied to only those laws enacted by the Federal government but has since been ruled by the Supreme Court to include state and local governments. Sounds pretty simple to me.</div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_112d22="84" closure_uid_w53sdh="71" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_112d22="84" closure_uid_w53sdh="71" style="text-align: justify;">
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<div closure_uid_jf5xsg="69">
<div closure_uid_e011k9="68">
So, here is the story. A man by the name of Anthony Morelli who lives in Pennsylvania had a blog which he started in 2007. For 4 years he posted hundreds of blog entries. The blog was entitled "The Psycho Ex Wife" which of course can be seen as offensive right there. He posted as they were going through embittered divorce and custody battles. Further, he posted anonymously, keeping all names out. Their two sons are currently 10 and 12 years old. At present the two parents have joint custody. The ex-wife is an alcoholic and is believed to suffer from a personality disorder. </div>
</div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
The tag line on Morelli's blog was "The true account of a marriage, divorce and subsequent custody fight between a loving man, his terrorist ex-wife who we suspect suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder and the husband's new partner." With this blog, Morelli created a community (approximately 200,000 visitors per month) and several forums where people in a similar circumstance could discuss child custody issues, parental alienation syndrome and other assorted divorce challenges. Now that is a strong community and for many, a much needed support group, as they wade through some very grueling court battles and all the days in between. </div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<div closure_uid_4ak3da="68">
<div closure_uid_qsyso8="83">
<div closure_uid_8wroa3="82">
<div closure_uid_f9fo2g="69">
I know what it is like to live with someone whose sanity is in question. Had this blog existed 20 years ago, I would have been a daily visitor myself. I was dealing with the safety of my children and myself and eventually worked through all the issues, both safety and the legalities of the divorce. Then I had a similar issue...when the court allowed for my ex-husband to have very limited visitation rights. After just a handful of visits he disappeared once again so my concerns were put to rest. With only an occasional call from him once every few years I eventually learned we were relatively safe, his threats of hurting us turned out to be empty.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<div closure_uid_f9fo2g="71">
All that aside though, the reason I have brought this to you is to discuss First Amendment Rights, Judge Diane Gibbons who was presiding over the Morelli custody case ordered Morelli to shut down his blog on June 6th of this year or lose joint custody of his kids. She banned him from mentioning his ex-wife or his children on any public media.</div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_f9fo2g="70" closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<span closure_uid_8wroa3="83" closure_uid_gl7gq6="69" style="color: #d5a6bd;">Now you see the question, does the Court have the right to order that blog stopped or punish the blogger if he doesn't do what is ordered. It seems we are looking at two aspects of the First Amendment. One, freedom of speech says we have the right to speak freely without government interference. And, two, freedom of press establishes the right to publish news, information and opinions without government intervention. This includes newspapers, magazines, newsletters, etc. Wouldn't it then include blogs, for really they are just a form of newsletter?</span></div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<div closure_uid_shvhxy="69">
We could argue the pro's and con's all day as to its content. It seems to me if it mischaracterizes the ex-wife then she has a libel/slander suit on her hands, although we don't hear anything about that. The judge appears to be concerned about the children being subjected to this information about their mom (as if they aren't living in the midst of it) and calls it abusive. Yet we are not hearing her concern for the safety of the children in the clutches (and custody) of their alcoholic mother. I was married to an alcoholic, and I divorced him for that reason and all the abuse that goes along with alcoholism. I needed to raise my children in a healthy environment and could accept nothing less for their sake. Where is the judge standing on that? As I said, we could argue all day long the pro's and con's but what is legally accurate? </div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<div closure_uid_j4uf9s="69">
As always, your comments are welcome and I invite you to research the topic yourself as there is a great deal of media out there concerning this and even more peoples' comments who swear the blog was the best thing or the worst thing. What are your thoughts to the shut down of a blog that was just being brutally honest?</div>
</div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<br /></div>
<div closure_uid_rk5av0="80">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-86343797266037205462011-06-09T14:44:00.033-05:002011-09-07T07:00:54.778-05:00"Right Brained People Living In A Left Brained World"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
The title of this post is borrowed from a book with the title:<strong><em> Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World</em></strong> by Jeffrey Freed and Laurie Parsons. The copyright date is 1997. I bought this book back in the late 90's when I realized I was faced with two very intelligent, very right brained boys (my sons, Nate and Brandon) and was having a very difficult time relating....and so were their teachers. By the way the subtitle to this book is (you many have already guessed) <strong><em>Unlocking The Potential of Your ADD Child</em></strong>. I know what you might be saying, oh please, this is such an old subject. Well, not really, it is very pertinent for many reasons. Stick with me on this, it is more fun than you may think and has far greater applications than you may have imagined.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFTjbKgUbp0zm7P5augaKhM_hYBMbhyphenhyphengFlMnDDxurTwzmlWxW10Wug-9GPCBlLjp4LuxPVwR9mwInMph6Oo0cN83Q1Zi0yMTkBHferuaLq7NCnAR_7LMfH2UG8RIUstrue2ewne-khwRus/s1600/scan0014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFTjbKgUbp0zm7P5augaKhM_hYBMbhyphenhyphengFlMnDDxurTwzmlWxW10Wug-9GPCBlLjp4LuxPVwR9mwInMph6Oo0cN83Q1Zi0yMTkBHferuaLq7NCnAR_7LMfH2UG8RIUstrue2ewne-khwRus/s400/scan0014.jpg" t8="true" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have been considered very left brained all my life, which is actually somewhat unusual for a woman. I am analytical, math oriented, rational, logical and linear in my thought. And it is my left brain that made me put that linear continuum up there for you to see (it was a stretch to put it on pink paper with purple ink). Had I been a right brained person, I would have been much more creative and had that continuum branching all over the place and in many different colors. Left brained attributes are quite often assigned to men, whereas women are generally more spontaneous, imaginative, emotional, sensitive and creative creatures or right brained. Now look at the attributes assigned to ADD and ADHD children: impulsive, hypersensory, sensitive, daydreamers, visual, distractible and in many cases hyperactive. There are far more detail descriptions, but I will leave that to you if you want to research further.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I wanted to understand everything I could about this phenomenon or what really comes down to different learning styles, because I wanted to help my boys and their teachers work through the obstacles that right brained thinking poses for left brained people in our socially acceptable left brained world. And I wanted to do it without my children taking any prescribed drugs. I am not a believer in medicating our youth (or adults for that matter). Although what I saw and experienced during my time locked up caused me to realize there are some people who do benefit with some help, as they are non-functioning otherwise.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I gained a great deal of understanding from this book and I think it helped me in my parenting as well, especially when it came to helping Nate (with autism) learn at all and with Brandon, in how solutions and methods for solving were presented. For both, once they had a visual of something they could work it every which way. As for Nate he could say the alphabet as fast backward as he did forward which was very fast. Pictures became the center of his learning. And he could read and remember like nothing I had ever experienced in my life. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
With Brandon, he was the grand winner of the school spelling bees, year after year, because we pictured things together in his practice and once he realized he could spell words backwards and forward with the same speed, by utilizing the pictures in his head, he knew he could spell any word he had ever seen, because he could access the picture of that word in his head. Brandon was very artistic, he had beautiful and detailed drawings but as the grades progressed the school was not interested in developing that gift, in fact his drawing became a problem for teachers, in subjects other than art. In helping him with math homework, I knew I was in trouble. Brandon could visualize an answer (not doing the steps), whereas I was interested in taking him through the steps, because that is the way I think and I knew many teachers look for that as proof of understanding and doing your own work. But when we would sit at the kitchen table to work together, within 5 to 10 minutes he would literally turn around in his chair with his back to me and the little help session was over. He just didn't get it that way!! But when I searched for answers, I found that if I could explain a concept with pictures and allow him to tell me how he was seeing things, then we'd have a home run.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
All of this caused me to become more creative, more observant and open to change if I wanted to relate to my boys and others like them. As part of my love for my boys I wanted to be useful in helping them to succeed. I am sure I share this with many parents out there.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As young adults, my sons both love music, art, are very visual and express their feelings loud and clear. Brandon has taught himself to play the keyboards and is in a band, in addition to working almost full time and going to college full time. He has learned to take his hyperactivity and focus it in ways that will benefit him. I have to remind him to sleep. Nate still loves to read, enjoys anything visual and is my most loving gentle giant.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
When I developed The NOAH Project, we had a lengthy reading list of books as part of the training. The book I have mentioned in this post was of course high on that list. And many of our teachers/child facilitators made a point to tell me they really enjoyed it as it helped them to understand how there are truly different learning styles and for some it helped them to better understand their selves. Definitely a good read. In this day, the age of laptops, video games and iPhones, the VISUALS are winning out. More and more of the kids are fitting into this pattern, if not born this way, they become this way by the time they are 3 to 4 years old as a result of being surrounded by our current day technologies. For us old dinosaurs we have to move with them or be left in the dust.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
All of that brings me to my point. The jails and prisons are just loaded with right brained people. I could not believe the talent of those incarcerated. Singing voices that would just bring you to your knees with tears in your eyes. And prison art is extraordinary. I learned some while I was in there and I wanted to share it with you. What I brought home is a combination of my doodles and that of others. Nancy (my dear cousin), if you are reading this, know that you inspired this blog post with your blog post <a href="http://shilohpup-nwc.blogspot.com/2011/05/doodle-that.html">Doodle that!</a> Follow that link for more fun! Below is some of the prison art I brought home:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6BaBX9b0PHFKsL3sfbe3QWKdXp8zgTQ70HRuVwA7e_Wd388O9Ay4vbwLrlg7I8vhP83u7H_2LOyV1lEF1-r1v7Op7YyhyUmmDJ2KB9z1UUJ90CV98jxhwSlVjxYX6qv87GVCu96uQM9hY/s1600/scan0001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="cssfloat: right; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6BaBX9b0PHFKsL3sfbe3QWKdXp8zgTQ70HRuVwA7e_Wd388O9Ay4vbwLrlg7I8vhP83u7H_2LOyV1lEF1-r1v7Op7YyhyUmmDJ2KB9z1UUJ90CV98jxhwSlVjxYX6qv87GVCu96uQM9hY/s400/scan0001.jpg" t8="true" width="400" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0Pb3GILeBw6g8JmezapA9kLekxNE-dDTIA6Oddt0QFk8CMbYz9_8yjOCRpj58GDGNyTT-m81v4WAmajcyqsvMN-jbPnG8eld1h-2rrtjZAgl9NpOyGLoJTUCeAKbbw_B3iT9RHxnd5iF/s1600/scan0003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0Pb3GILeBw6g8JmezapA9kLekxNE-dDTIA6Oddt0QFk8CMbYz9_8yjOCRpj58GDGNyTT-m81v4WAmajcyqsvMN-jbPnG8eld1h-2rrtjZAgl9NpOyGLoJTUCeAKbbw_B3iT9RHxnd5iF/s320/scan0003.jpg" t8="true" width="172" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBrv_bFisTsTGCcDrRGC63TwZBWfP-zRBhROL9ifsVXgZHskEVb1Leb7OdYD6DUEF0fATHg11GD_wADG-MNYiRZurcWyQlXmAGBR6gXPSLO0Mhc3sl7JzulRoFGLsLqBp8aU0V5T4WulkO/s1600/scan0005.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBrv_bFisTsTGCcDrRGC63TwZBWfP-zRBhROL9ifsVXgZHskEVb1Leb7OdYD6DUEF0fATHg11GD_wADG-MNYiRZurcWyQlXmAGBR6gXPSLO0Mhc3sl7JzulRoFGLsLqBp8aU0V5T4WulkO/s320/scan0005.jpg" t8="true" width="116" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizMX_WvYPRSgpwJQJOKVxhZaRBpI0IwR9_3TvDZRZBrWQOfM9yuXcVeoU8PrjzYlTaYpJrojnJ4tH-78C9cbIPCtR3tUvpNYW1gpE1zkdsHpJT2vGAJlQTotX-LlDzssAJQgClq876xVZt/s1600/scan0004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizMX_WvYPRSgpwJQJOKVxhZaRBpI0IwR9_3TvDZRZBrWQOfM9yuXcVeoU8PrjzYlTaYpJrojnJ4tH-78C9cbIPCtR3tUvpNYW1gpE1zkdsHpJT2vGAJlQTotX-LlDzssAJQgClq876xVZt/s320/scan0004.jpg" t8="true" width="166" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNbYZPjv2fTgpzA3Pv_L2FPSoyVpw4OKF0MexXOQ5d4VYJiMadi4LwlsOr2OpIsY87RcyUuy8LUTMl6t9QGjaF8D0zcP1OOU05OYYncNcFGkyHrkU0AJK9luloxZEcQckvppsYuNAO5vzC/s1600/scan0006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNbYZPjv2fTgpzA3Pv_L2FPSoyVpw4OKF0MexXOQ5d4VYJiMadi4LwlsOr2OpIsY87RcyUuy8LUTMl6t9QGjaF8D0zcP1OOU05OYYncNcFGkyHrkU0AJK9luloxZEcQckvppsYuNAO5vzC/s320/scan0006.jpg" t8="true" width="302" /></a></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMSwohAtCoAYvOtSfC39GT8wZVsk9oVzUPKuZD4AT3RG2oHhXnLGMwaKrrdd_AWpP4qew83Xs9CoR-2YH9zDgxrjo0hhnDEA7tBmylsupasjzs_vpbr17bNy7c456W3hYAMDudsBzeiKQN/s1600/scan0007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMSwohAtCoAYvOtSfC39GT8wZVsk9oVzUPKuZD4AT3RG2oHhXnLGMwaKrrdd_AWpP4qew83Xs9CoR-2YH9zDgxrjo0hhnDEA7tBmylsupasjzs_vpbr17bNy7c456W3hYAMDudsBzeiKQN/s320/scan0007.jpg" t8="true" width="320" /></a></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsfbhBbIM4-l4G_H9p9Spuu7nthfnSd0Ry9T6LDREHstaQn404pb3KCChQnV-IMq3d8uhS-0HV72A34dIO2vbShQ5H-SJF3YgE7_3gPotdHXtUpANEJhktwsPyfT4yUUwmTj-xJKCXaIqQ/s1600/scan0008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsfbhBbIM4-l4G_H9p9Spuu7nthfnSd0Ry9T6LDREHstaQn404pb3KCChQnV-IMq3d8uhS-0HV72A34dIO2vbShQ5H-SJF3YgE7_3gPotdHXtUpANEJhktwsPyfT4yUUwmTj-xJKCXaIqQ/s320/scan0008.jpg" t8="true" width="295" /></a></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqj5zIk1Dqu0cpsqOQBzz5gvCdeeoJfx79uYXlnGu7BB9sA-4TW0JRU8aHYsTj8WBYljNL0cc-XNAdy9DwawyBTpXrAwn1Qarpp2N397cZP55kTyRoJ21NI-c0jWQQ_NMiQ6CIkRtHM_ka/s1600/scan0009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqj5zIk1Dqu0cpsqOQBzz5gvCdeeoJfx79uYXlnGu7BB9sA-4TW0JRU8aHYsTj8WBYljNL0cc-XNAdy9DwawyBTpXrAwn1Qarpp2N397cZP55kTyRoJ21NI-c0jWQQ_NMiQ6CIkRtHM_ka/s400/scan0009.jpg" t8="true" width="400" /></a></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div closure_uid_ihr5k="76">
This is just a small sampling. Do you know, with exception of just a handful of women, most women I met in prison did miserably in school, many fell through the cracks at an early age,</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyKw3Frv3WrdHxB6Y26fgFxhjL2Lz3aO9R7EHb5RKYCDQaPcToF_ewDKh2Acuy7SgcDGujX8KXh-IVHJfRbW5tLECdVRzeQ1t56BH6nJ10oe_BFg3NxskU0X9Rdlgj7iDll5TZy9fijGDE/s1600/imagesCA75KBJ8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyKw3Frv3WrdHxB6Y26fgFxhjL2Lz3aO9R7EHb5RKYCDQaPcToF_ewDKh2Acuy7SgcDGujX8KXh-IVHJfRbW5tLECdVRzeQ1t56BH6nJ10oe_BFg3NxskU0X9Rdlgj7iDll5TZy9fijGDE/s400/imagesCA75KBJ8.jpg" t$="true" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<div closure_uid_ihr5k="77">
yet they are talented, in a very right brained way. How many of these women, would you dare to guess, learn in a different way? By the time a child gets to the third grade, the teaching style becomes predominantly auditory and very left brained. What about the visual learners! That is also when behavior problems become so prevalent. If behavior problems were addressed in a positive way, meaning how can we teach you in a different way, how can we develop the skills you have, how can we help you in the best way to prepare for life (instead of trying to force a square peg into a round hole)...would our jails and prisons still be full to the brim? I dare say NOT!</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The system failed many of these people at a very early age. It is my understanding the men's prison and jails have many talented people also. A whole lot of right brained people stubbing their toes in a left brained world....leading to incarceration. There are those who argue we should not educate people in prison, they messed up when they had their chance. I ask why not? The system failed them before, when they were kids being batted around, why not a second chance? And why not in a learning style that is conducive to their developmental growth. Our right brain is known for our survival skills. Many of these people did not have the best of home environments during their early years thus having to focus on survival, perhaps not able to make the jump to their left brain skills. But, while separated from the streets, can you think of a better time to reach these people and help them become productive members of society. They will be our neighbors, they are our fellow human beings, so why not help them get what they need to grow skills through education in a way they can learn and blossom?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We also have to address making a place for these people when they come out. A discussion on bettering people incarcerated falls by the wayside if we don't change our attitudes about those with a background and allow them a second (or third) chance by employing them and for that matter welcoming them into our churches. The statistics now reflect one in five people in this country have a criminal background. We have to educate and we have to change our attitudes so we can all become winners in this game of life.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">FAMOUS RIGHT BRAINED PEOPLE:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Sir Isaac Newton</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Aristotle</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Albert Einstein</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Leonardo Da Vinci</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Jonas Salk</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Thomas Alva Edison</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Galileo Galilei</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Socrates</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Bill Gates</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Benjamin Franklin</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Steven Spielberg</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Alexander Graham Bell</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Thomas Jefferson</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Abraham Lincoln</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Pablo Picasso</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmuRVjyfCKqHS7tCNCAlw2HXo-_6v2CltVP3X4Ml8t_bDuJm4_xDWmizQgGyQ9l4n-Cfb-Ug463HOhljZlZS1rxXBQhupCYGFX5xZqGA0uOWBK84t5MesDyDgP_h4yP4d4K-fokzQt83Qv/s1600/scan0006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmuRVjyfCKqHS7tCNCAlw2HXo-_6v2CltVP3X4Ml8t_bDuJm4_xDWmizQgGyQ9l4n-Cfb-Ug463HOhljZlZS1rxXBQhupCYGFX5xZqGA0uOWBK84t5MesDyDgP_h4yP4d4K-fokzQt83Qv/s200/scan0006.jpg" t8="true" width="188" /></a></div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-48838987874666406242011-06-03T16:29:00.008-05:002011-07-12T15:11:06.631-05:00How HE Wants Us To Live<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Being an older person in jail/prison has its benefits. While the environment is volatile and rife with violence and fear, there are many who seem to actually respect and treat with consideration the elders. Being in my early 50's I qualified as a grandma type figure or "elder". Although during the first 19 months I was in Dallas County Jail following my trial and awaiting results of the initial stages of my appeal I did run in to a few women right off the street who wanted to take on anybody and everybody. That is a lifestyle I have never lived and having never physically fought I was no match for anyone, yet there were at least two instances at Dallas County where I had to stand my ground one way or another. <br />
<br />
Both instances happened in a medical general population tank at the Government Center in Dallas, also known as the George Allen Building. In a tank there were 5 cells, and in each of the 5 cells there were 5 inmates. So, in the tank's dayroom that we all shared there was 25 of us. At night, between 11/12 p.m. and about 4 a.m. we were locked into our cell with our cellmates, so just 5 of us during that time.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was having a difficult time with one of the women who had recently moved into our cell. She had a reputation of lieing, picking fights and cheating at cards. She was about 22 years old, a bully and very loud. Her crime was stealing credit cards from little old ladies purses who were shopping at Walgreens Drug Stores. She apparently was wanted by many and showed up on several security videos, as most every day she was called out to the magistrate court to receive more charges against her. Last I knew she had well over 50 different charges brought against her. At any rate, you can see by the crime that she was a predator of the elder so my age was probably a red flag to her but not in a good way.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
One night once they had locked the cell for the 4 - 5 hours she started yelling at me. I don't recall what set her off, if anything. I just turned my back and ignored her but I also did not sleep a wink. I was having such a difficult time that after breakfast at 4 in the morning I just stayed out in the dayroom with my Bible. I opened it up and was immediately drawn to Chapter 4 in Colossians. As I'm sure you know, Colossians was written by apostle, Paul, while imprisoned. The Bible I had (sent to me by Sam, Nancy's husband and my minister) was <em><u>The Message</u></em> version, which is current day dialect, perfect for my understanding. Colossians 4: 2 - 6 is as follows:</div>
<ul>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
"Pray diligently. Stay alert, with your eyes wide open in gratitude. Don't forget to pray for us, that God will open doors for telling the mystery of Christ, even while I'm locked up in this jail. Pray that every time I open my mouth I'll be able to make Christ plain as day to them. Use your head as you live and work among outsiders. Don't miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out."</div>
</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Wow! It certainly changed how I handled things. Instead of fighting back or getting ugly with gossip I took the more positive approach. There were no more outbursts by her toward me and I was able to get some sleep, trusting that when my eyes were closed I would be safe. I was so thankful for the Bible and most especially for getting direction as to how to live, even under the worst of circumstances.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The other situation I wanted to tell you about started while my husband, Ron, was visiting one evening. At the Government Center, the visiting was a bit different because of it being such an old facility. The visitors actually came down the hall to where our tank was located and there were small (3" by 6") type windows at eye level, where we would stand and talk to one another's eyes while speaking over telephone receivers. When looking in these small windows the visitors would actually have a look into our dayroom and the bars beyond that were our cells. Intermittently between our little visitor windows were pay phones for inmates making calls out. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Back to that evening, I had just started my visit with Ron and this other inmate (a prostitute who had just been arrested and placed in our tank) had decided to use the pay phone right next to me (probably just 2 feet away) and she started screaming at the person (I was told it was her pimp) on the phone with her. I calmly asked her to quiet down as I was visiting, so she then starts screaming at the top of her lungs at me. Next I raised my voice just slightly and told her again to move to another phone. An officer happened by and told us to stop it and sent Ron on his way, ending our visit early. I was fuming, Ron had traveled a long way to get there and he could not see well enough to be driving at night in the first place. I said nothing else to her that evening or the next couple days. Every time she would walk by me she would brush up against me. I wondered what that was all about and the women I played cards with told me that's what they do to start a fight. I had no idea, clueless!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I needed to defuse this thing but didn't know how so I returned to my Bible, praying for guidance. The last thing I wanted was a fight. I opened the Bible to 1 Thessalonians, Chapter 5: 13 - 18. Again, it is <em><u>The Message</u></em> version and it said:</div>
<ul>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
"Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part. Our counsel is that you warn the freeloaders to get a move on. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each others' nerves you don't snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out. Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live."</div>
</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It was the perfect thing for me to read, righting my attitude. Then just a couple days after that the two of us sat together in the dayroom and shared with each other about our lives and how we came to be in Dallas County Jail. She and I got along beautifully for the rest of our stay in the same tank, showing respect for one another. The day we split up during a massive move of all inmates out of the condemned Government Center she saw me struggling with the weight of my stuff. She offered to help me and I accepted. I remember wanting to cry for her gracious offer and kindness. Then we said goodbye, with smiles, as we went to our new assignments in a different facility. All of that happened in one week's time and OH! what a difference the change in my attitude made. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We can never go wrong by turning to the Word for guidance. I don't know how I could have survived the three years without it. God sure is faithful to us and in my life he used a very difficult environment to show me how His Word works....but then where better to see it so clearly. He had my full attention!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-50007835288044343922011-05-29T16:50:00.007-05:002011-07-12T15:10:03.414-05:00Motherhood in Question?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was thinking, over this holiday weekend how good it is to have family together, I just feel so happy to be surrounded by the people I love. Even as we do our own independent activities within our home, I can sense we are close to one another and can feel that warmth and love just radiating from our very beings. I had a difficult time while incarcerated, in fact the hardest part of being locked up was missing my children, the pain was just deep down in the depth of my soul. I had no idea I would have to survive three years away, I don't think I could have even wrapped my thoughts around such a void when I was first ushered into the pits of Dallas County Jail following my trial. I thought surely I would be out on an appeals bond in no time. I couldn't even imagine the Judge setting a bond so high my family couldn't touch it. After all, in the four years prior to my trial I had been on a personal recognizance bond for most of that time and had never violated the terms, showing up in court every two weeks.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
One of the biggest issues of this countries' excessive incarceration practices is the destructive force it has on the families in America. Such a destructive force, indeed. Pulling parents away from their children. I used to think the children were better off without those "criminal" parents. Once in there, meeting many good, family oriented, kind and nurturing women I had to really rethink the stereotype I had implanted in my brain. Besides, there I was too and not because of any loathsome lifestyle.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
About a year into my incarceration, and still at Dallas County, I finally sat down and wrote a book except, more as a therapy for me than anything else. I needed to sort out my feelings about being ripped away from motherhood, it seemed like the emptiness I felt was going to eat me up, not to mention the lingering anger. Following is that excerpt:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em> In our society and perhaps all societies a woman's role inside the family includes one of nurturing - to care for and develop the children. Girl children are expected, from an early age, to help their mom with younger children and around the house, while their play most often includes caring for their baby dolls. As little girls we are taught we are valuable if we help others, quite often that is how we receive our acceptance among the adults in our life. There are inherent messages of - it is okay to exist so long as we are needed and useful. The more needed we are, the more purpose we have, the more our existence on this earth is affirmed. Thus, perpetuating the need to be needed. It wraps around and possibly smothers our very being. It even creates a neediness about us. We become extreme givers while some of us attach to extreme takers, resenting it all the while, yet somehow needing it. It is a vicious cycle. We have a hard time receiving anything for ourselves. Our need to give is primary, with taking care of ourselves secondary, at best. </em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em> As a child the intrinsic and unstated belief is that it is what we do to survive, to keep from being abandoned. Therefore, one learns to give without boundaries, at what can become a high cost to self, perhaps abandoning self. The very issue of abandonment becomes so internalized, growing our neediness. We look for constant affirmations in our relationships, thereby placing the burden on our loved ones to constantly affirm our existence. This creates a needy mom, one who may figuratively suffocate their children with "love", one who flounders once they become empty-nesters.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em> It is with this said that I explore my growing resentment toward Ron [my husband] in hopes I can prevent the festering of this in our relationship. If all emotions are based either in fear or love, then resentment is clearly that of fear. What do I fear? I fear that Ron will replace me in the eyes of my boys. I fear I will no longer be needed or valued. I fear if I am no longer needed then I have no reason for being. My career has been destroyed and now it feels like motherhood has been stolen from me. I feel so much grief, bone deep. These are the two ways I have defined myself, as a mom and as a business woman. All was torn away from me once I was convicted and sentenced. So, where does that leave me? In Dallas County jail, with only myself to take care of.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em> An opportunity to re-parent myself. I know that sounds crazy but here it is, an opening in my life to find value in me, just being, not performing. To not be needed by others, yet still be alive, very much alive. It's beginning to look as though I have an opportunity staring me in the face. And, when I look at it that way, I feel only gratitude toward Ron. This reminds me of a quote from my friend, Bears Kaufman: "when we stand in gratitude, there is no room for unhappiness." </em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em> So, I have a choice, I can steep myself in fear or I can steep myself in love. What a grand choice and here I was thinking all choices were taken away from me when I was incarcerated. As I wallowed in resentment I became unaware of choice. But allowing myself to explore this I find they cannot take away my attitude and beliefs.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em> As I tread through this case against me I have gone through a series of letting go. First it was my career, then material possessions, as I scrambled to pay legal fees and find any job as a means to support us. Then it was my physical freedom. Now, I have the opportunity to let go of my resentment, my fear. Not just any fear, but a made-up fear. </em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em> In letting go of that fear I have created a space to redefine myself, to redefine my purpose, to clear out more of the clutter and come to trust myself and my belief in God. Yet another lesson in surrender. Another lesson in choosing love. A chance to learn to nurture myself, thereby growing an interdependent love rather than codependent love for others. How freeing this is and here I thought all my freedoms had been usurped. My captors cannot steal or control my thoughts. I'm in charge of choosing beliefs and corresponding thoughts that enliven a healthy existence; therein lies my continuing commitment to myself and God.</em><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBZS4T5GXIE6MP0-tJ1Odooz4DSeo7caz-S-HPHn_cnK-HkMW1vM2NyWWz8SKOEosYhKhmXc7GdbBI01ZiXy54zydoFbmpXyR_zkTPQRvs_ygH8KtO4DeygWsSFgIU1BoYh7sod5fFKNGm/s1600/scan0009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBZS4T5GXIE6MP0-tJ1Odooz4DSeo7caz-S-HPHn_cnK-HkMW1vM2NyWWz8SKOEosYhKhmXc7GdbBI01ZiXy54zydoFbmpXyR_zkTPQRvs_ygH8KtO4DeygWsSFgIU1BoYh7sod5fFKNGm/s400/scan0009.jpg" t8="true" width="315" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Working through this was a giant step in my survival and really required me to let go even more of the victim role, as that thinking was just making me sick and wearing me down. Once I began to clean up my thinking on this subject, my rational thought returned and I knew that I would always be the mother of Nate and Brandon and nothing could diminish the love we have for one another. We survived our separation from one another. I missed a big chunk of their lives, their high school years, I can't get those years back, but I do have today for which I am infinitely grateful.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-72509499371378492011-05-28T12:27:00.017-05:002011-07-12T15:08:16.006-05:00Culpable Negligence ?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We are getting reports whereby the government is finally owning some culpability in the massive, unsafe immunizations that occurred throughout the eighties, nineties and into the new millennium. They have been paying families millions of dollars in settlement money for the vaccine damage to their children which includes autism. We are just finding out about this!?! Autism went from 1 in 10,000 (prior to 1990) to the 1990's ratio of 1 in 150 children and has continued to increase throughout the first decade of 2000 to current day numbers indicating 1 in 100 children effected with autistic traits following immunizations.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In the 1990's thimerisol (a preservative, containing mercury, found in immunizations) was identified as unsafe for many children as their bodies were unable to metabolize metals, in this case mercury. Instead the mercury accumulated to significant amounts and crossed the blood-brain barrier thus causing brain damage, quite often effecting the speech center and sensory systems of these children. If you look up the symptoms of mercury poisoning you find them to be the same as we are seeing in many of our children with autism.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
There was a recent article published that indicates continued problems as seen in the statistics above even after taking thimerisol out of the early childhood immunizations. This study identified the introduction of fetal DNA in vaccines as the trigger. The study tells us that "the vaccines contain significant residual human DNA fragments that can insert themselves into vaccine recipient cells........this insertion can cause genomic disruption resulting in autism." To read more about this, see article in <a href="http://www.christiannewswire.com/news/2901016964.html">ChristianNewsWire</a> describing the "ticking time bomb that has already exploded." </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
What we learned from the 90's is that autism was no longer considered epidemic proportions but by the end of the 90's had moved into a classification known as pandemic. What we also learned from the 90's was that when these children with autism went through a cheolation process large amounts of mercury and aluminum would show up in their blood and urine samples (far beyond what is considered "normal"). Another bit of information we garnered from the 90's was that when the vaccines were introduced to third world countries, these countries then started to have cases of autism pop up everywhere among their young, freshly immunized children, whereby those countries had never seen a case of autism before. We've known its the immunizations, we've known it does not negatively effect all or even most children...yet we could not get the government (FDA) or the drug companies to own their culpability in the destruction of the productive lives of these children, instead leaving an enormous burden on the families and eventually the Social Security Disability and Medicaid rolls.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I believe most parents with this knowledge are NOT anti-vaccine people but instead share the belief that vaccines should be safe and should be well researched and tested before requiring mass inoculation and in the event there is a question, then we have the right to be informed immediately and decide about the risk for our own children. I know not one of those families are thanking the government for allowing their child to become a guinea pig for their experimentation. And I know not one of those families are thrilled with the thought that the major drug companies producing these vaccines combed in unbelievable amounts of profits as a result of the government requiring mass inoculation. There have been class action suits and individual suits brought against the drug companies, who continue to deny there is any correlation. The drug companies are wealthy beyond measure and for every study brought up in the lawsuits showing cause and effect, they pay for five more studies negating that connection. Remember what I said in my last post, one can always find the evidence to support one's belief (or in this case - agenda). And there can be creation of evidence if needed, as seen in my legal case, by the opposing side.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The recent information of the government "secretly" settling with some families is not a surprise, see this <a href="http://vigilantcitizen.com/latestnews/government-secretly-settled-vaccine-autism-cases/">article and short FOXnewscast</a> describing such settlements. The need to keep it secret must have been enormous as there are hundreds of thousands of kids (and their families) negatively impacted. It will be interesting to see what happens now, if anything. A requirement of filing claims with this government program is that the claim must be filed within 3 years of onset. I know for one, when my Nate started changing and showing the signs of withdrawal we did not have this information and in 1992 the doctors were baffled. Diagnosing Nate was like a three ring circus. By the time he was 5 years old he must have had at least 8 different diagnosis, with autism being the last educated guess. You see there is no blood test or genetic test to confirm the diagnosis...it is more a process of elimination and observation of behavior patterns. It wasn't until 2001 that I first learned of the connection between the immunizations and autism and by then Nate was 10 years old and it was far too late to make a claim. Further, the government and the drug companies have bombarded us with the denial of this link between autism and vaccines, even going so far as to repeatedly discredit the doctors doing the research and the results of the scientific research with findings to the contrary.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In developing The NOAH Project (2001-2002) I had decided we would focus on the best overall treatment for these kids. How we could respect their differences and work with them in the most loving way, how we could support their nutritional needs and how we could educate and help their parents and other parents (attending our speaking series) gather resources, that is doctors, therapists and nutritionists who were tuned into this information and could help clear the children of the neurotoxins and at the same time boost their immune systems. An informed parent can best help their children if they know what is going inside their child's body and find ways to offset the negative impact; in contrast the denial campaigns of the government and drug companies does not help progress or focus on the effective treatment for these kids. I did not attack the drug companies or FDA. It was always my hope they would step up and become accountable. Apparently it now becomes evident they handled the few extreme cases where the parents had the knowledge and wherewithal to make the claims on a timely basis and the impact of the vaccines were immediate and drastic rather than slow developing over time, as it was for most of our kids.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We are still faced with determining the best ways to help the kids (and now many are young adults) who have been effected. I have remained a believer in the The Son-Rise Program in terms of treatment (although limited to home-based), teaching the children to be interactive in the most spontaneous way. The public schools are now doing a far better job working with our kids. The explosive population of children with autism started in the 90's and took everybody by surprise, especially the public school system, they had to scramble to find certified special ed teachers, qualified teacher aids and ways to reach these kids. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Nutritional needs and vitamin intervention are still vital in boosting their compromised immune systems and helping clear the fog away, which quite often is created by gluten and casein foods (found in most processed food items). At The NOAH Project we issued a quarterly Nutrition newsletter to all families, teachers and therapists who were on our mailing lists from the speaking series (approximately 3,000 people). Here are a few pages from our newsletters prepared by our staff nutritionist (you will see we were careful and still soft pedaled the role of immunizations in creating this malady):</div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaDpGW_Wx1ZsXkDSSrTSFczJQPX1uEeWX9t4esH4pjmizksHLQUuHMDv_V2Xob-RgdItqIb3OSBxJvqcHl1BlWQE8LhLkyYEOull4Pwxnb-aUVa2fvFa2KyDEbx7cUpcJiKHoz66apWJ4s/s1600/scan0001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaDpGW_Wx1ZsXkDSSrTSFczJQPX1uEeWX9t4esH4pjmizksHLQUuHMDv_V2Xob-RgdItqIb3OSBxJvqcHl1BlWQE8LhLkyYEOull4Pwxnb-aUVa2fvFa2KyDEbx7cUpcJiKHoz66apWJ4s/s640/scan0001.jpg" t8="true" width="500" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCJYBFIj4sSiYWBPAhGJ4XejJ07ZE8JF45kE1HKCHkxiH592t6KVNTsJXZ9sLTlJebgXoEjWr0QEjbFgkX5Fnln2WYp9D7kqIyhbF1MbRqElNzr7hTWfP9behW-LIyunxVXF4phCa4UcqR/s1600/scan0002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCJYBFIj4sSiYWBPAhGJ4XejJ07ZE8JF45kE1HKCHkxiH592t6KVNTsJXZ9sLTlJebgXoEjWr0QEjbFgkX5Fnln2WYp9D7kqIyhbF1MbRqElNzr7hTWfP9behW-LIyunxVXF4phCa4UcqR/s640/scan0002.jpg" t8="true" width="504" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL7mC0kyor6ts-pWvhZH9QQNEp6vlF-mSB6H3XeHkCTzXwJEI0pjpQYYEUriaQQPpjGAuciAj2O0h6wV8xhOqNCIdm-hDy8QSLW8CGNJDWHBboKnIjjPjDwpwFOJdZC7sSrqQ2-8F-KioV/s1600/scan0003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL7mC0kyor6ts-pWvhZH9QQNEp6vlF-mSB6H3XeHkCTzXwJEI0pjpQYYEUriaQQPpjGAuciAj2O0h6wV8xhOqNCIdm-hDy8QSLW8CGNJDWHBboKnIjjPjDwpwFOJdZC7sSrqQ2-8F-KioV/s640/scan0003.jpg" t8="true" width="504" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPmXy3yvakqfvHuXvM9tTi4FpMLS5C2bGkbVOcvJRFUfYiwy6zcm5RcAFm6a3Fp4vuqTfhwjqMXlO4TLzY1UBYdBfWUmcBeFhiX3CTzCivDj8h8-tatoAzBLST-WhUnR5E7sWBRCnIjWx3/s1600/scan0004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPmXy3yvakqfvHuXvM9tTi4FpMLS5C2bGkbVOcvJRFUfYiwy6zcm5RcAFm6a3Fp4vuqTfhwjqMXlO4TLzY1UBYdBfWUmcBeFhiX3CTzCivDj8h8-tatoAzBLST-WhUnR5E7sWBRCnIjWx3/s640/scan0004.jpg" t8="true" width="496" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlaWdEi7Tsn-yMRwHlCHL2OsEOfwGmhQKYihsQmC3sJordLp9mq8pm9HFVuYXOIXy7ej7cRLjpel2UcUeOs1pTVKaXCbUVJSoH7fuNxRFzygzmSi973H19l0zMVTzv-xxORwFWr8rcboZq/s1600/scan0005.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlaWdEi7Tsn-yMRwHlCHL2OsEOfwGmhQKYihsQmC3sJordLp9mq8pm9HFVuYXOIXy7ej7cRLjpel2UcUeOs1pTVKaXCbUVJSoH7fuNxRFzygzmSi973H19l0zMVTzv-xxORwFWr8rcboZq/s640/scan0005.jpg" t8="true" width="496" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
If you know families challenged with a child showing symptoms of delayed development, limited or no speech and/or overload of sensory systems, encourage them to get early intervention. The sooner they address the problems, the more likely the child will respond and possibly reverse the effects. Most of all, find the doctors/pediatricians that are focused on safe immunizations. There are alternatives, such as splitting up the viruses, and administering the vaccines over a longer period of time. Research! Encourage them to become empowered parents taking initiative, instead of blindly trusting the "experts". Most of all encourage them to love their children and support them in the most positive ways. If nothing else these children teach us to love unconditionally....a gift in itself!!<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-11082154690144898782011-05-22T20:04:00.358-05:002017-04-02T21:40:32.646-05:00Who Were The True Conspirators?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have to do another post on Mary Surratt to share with you what I have found, so we have a Part III to Mary Surratt. This information is fascinating to me. I have never been interested in history, even the thought of it bores me. Give me a math problem any 'ole day. But this Mary Surratt case and the bigger picture is an enormous frame up and cover up. I did not get the significance of many things I saw in the movie "The Conspirator", until I came home and read further.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Historians fall on both sides of this debate...."Was Mary Surratt guilty or innocent?" The historians saying she was guilty generally argue that she had to know, they buy what the government fed them almost 150 years ago, contrary to what has been found since. One historian even goes so far as to say she must have been guilty because she had such a calm demeanor and was "clever" during her recorded interrogations. I don't know about you but calm is what I do, in fact the worse the circumstances, the calmer I get. Because fear, insanity, rage all cloud my ability to think and reason. When under extreme pressure or conflicting situations I get real quiet and listen with all my might so I can take the next best step. BUT, now can you see where that can get interpreted as "obfuscating, lying, denying and parsing her words"? That is how some historians have interpreted her demeanor and her claim of innocence. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
YET, during the trial, five priests and several other people testified on her behalf as to her stellar character and religious devotion. Who knew more about Mary Surratt, these people who spent time with her over the years or the historians who paint her as Booth's co-conspirator? It seems to me if someone had a shady, questionable character it would have surfaced at some time throughout the years prior to this event. But you know the saying, people will find (or create) the evidence to fit their beliefs. Perhaps I am guilty of the same in this instance...let's take a look at what came up after the conspiracy trial of Mary Surratt.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In the comment section of my prior blog I present the theory that there were others, such as Edwin Stanton, Secretary of War, and President Andrew Johnson himself that seemed to go out of their way to see these 8 people convicted and immediately dealt their punishments. Yet they could have had their own political agendas to rid Lincoln of the Presidency, in fact it would seem they had far more MOTIVE than the characters convicted of conspiracy. I set out to understand this better by researching John Wilkes Booth's diary, John Surratt Jr.'s trial two years later in a civilian court and anything I could find out about Andrew Johnson's impeachment trial. I must make a correction here...in a previous comment (last blog - comment section) I said that Andrew Johnson was impeached, but that is an error. He missed being impeached by one vote, he did finish out his term, but was a very unpopular President. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I learned several things that I want to share with you, this will give you more insight into how (at a grand level) innocent people can come to be falsely accused and wrongly convicted. It gives you a better understanding of the deception that is possible when perpetrating fraud on the courts. Because, rarely, if ever, is a wrongful conviction a result of error, it is much more the result of a deliberate withholding and/or altering/creating evidence, false (coerced) testimonies by state witnesses....and a prosecutor who is hell-bent on winning at any cost while exercising their persuasive powers over the jury.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In the movie, "The Conspirator" the alledged conspirators, while imprisoned awaiting their trials and after had hoods over their heads. The hoods were lined with one inch of cotton and there was only one small hole at the mouth for them to eat their food. Therefore, they could not be heard. In addition, they were shackled making writing impossible and were not allowed any discussions or visits from the outside world (with one exception, at the end of the trial Mary was allowed a brief visit from her daughter). They had been silenced, were tried quickly and punishment was dealt immediately. Even back then, this treatment was unheard of. Mary Surratt pleaded that she be allowed to make a last statement but was denied. What was the government covering up, what were they so afraid she would say?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Mary Surratt was convicted on the false testimony of two men. There was no exculpatory evidence, only circumstantial. Both men later, changed their stories. John Lloyd, testified in John Surratt Jr.'s trial two years later. "Lloyd not only contradicted some of the statements he had made at the conspiracy trail but admitted that he had been subjected to both promises and threats." According to John T. Ford (owner of Ford Theater) Lloyd had told him he "was taken to Bryantown and when he refused to say anything against Mrs. Surratt, he was hanged by his thumbs until he could no longer stand the pain. Only then, to spare himself from further torture, did he agree to give perjured testimony against his landlady."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The other false testimony came from Louis Weichmann who told his friends John Brophy and Louis Carland, following the conspiracy trial that "his conscience was troubling him, that he had lied on the witness stand to save his own life and keep his government position. He said that his statements had been written out for him and he had to testify based on that." On the day of Mary's execution John Brophy swore out an affidavit disclosing Weichmann's statements and copied the Washington <em>Constitutional Union</em>, plus took a copy to the White House. Carland later testified in John Surratt Jr.'s trial regarding what Weichmann had told them that day.<br />
<br />
The evidence that was introduced in the John Surratt Jr. civilian trial two years later included Booth's diary, the clemency plea for Mary Surratt (coming from the tribunal members who had voted against the death sentence and were coerced by Stanton and Holt to change their vote), petitions given to Andrew Johnson, prior to the executions, and the statements of Lewis Powell and John T. Ford presenting "evidence of confessed perjuries and witness intimidation by the government." "The civil trial of John Surratt Jr. exposed many injustices that a free people must never again tolerate."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
John Wilkes Booth's diary indicated there were many over him in this plot, he did not act alone. It coincided with General Baker's diary, his accounts of the Lincoln assassination. "Both implicated, even boasted of a secret government council which had bound the country over a century. It revealed that the true killers were led by Lincoln's most trusted military advisor in the Civil War, Edwin M. Stanton, the Secretary of War." General Lafayette Baker, chief of the National Detective Police Force and fellow conspirator (conspirator with Stanton), wrote "Stanton's plot was a vast, well financed attempt to seize control of the federal government, signed Lafayette C. Baker." Numerous attempts were made on Baker's life (to silence him), he died of arsenic poisoning three years following the conspiracy trial.<br />
<br />
Seven hours before Lincoln's assassination John Wilkes Booth left a note at Vice President Andrew Johnson's home. It said "Don't wish to disturb you. Are you at home? J. Wilkes Booth." This note, along with Booth's diary were presented at President Andrew Johnson's impeachment trial, in addition to several other items that had surfaced during John Surratt Jr.'s trial.<br />
<br />
Over zealous prosecutors, power hungry men (and women), frightened witnesses can create anything. I have said this before in my blogs related to my own case...there is NO need to make up any lies if a person is truly guilty. Their guilt will stand on its own. The fact that there was so much coercion going on is all the evidence I need to know in my heart that Mary Surratt was innocent. She was a scapegoat and a distraction used to cover the true conspirators.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Mary Surratt was buried at Mt. Olivet Cemetery in Washington DC. There is a bronze plaque by her grave that reads: </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"The souls of the just are in the hands of God, and the torment of malice shall not touch them. In the sight of the unwise they seemed to die, but they are at peace."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
If you are interested in reading further or want to follow the quotes above, there are many books and Internet articles on this subject. I encourage you to take a look and draw your own conclusions. Injustices in our system didn't end with Mary Surratt, nor are they unique to the military, they continue today in our civilian courts. Following are a few of the references I used:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://albensonjr.com/marysurratt1.shtml">http://albensonjr.com/marysurratt1.shtml</a><br />
<a href="http://albensonjr.com/marysurratt2.shtml">http://albensonjr.com/marysurratt2.shtml</a><br />
<a href="http://www.ashevilletribune.com/asheville/heritage/Surratt%203.htm">http://www.ashevilletribune.com/asheville/heritage/Surratt%203.htm</a><br />
<a href="http://www.ashevilletribune.com/asheville/heritage/Surratt%204.htm">http://www.ashevilletribune.com/asheville/heritage/Surratt%204.htm</a><br />
<a href="http://rogerjnorton.com/Lincoln26.html">http://rogerjnorton.com/Lincoln26.html</a><br />
<a href="http://itwasjohnson.impiousdigest.com/zero12.htm">http://itwasjohnson.impiousdigest.com/zero12.htm</a><br />
<br /></div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-15302039554891777462011-05-16T08:12:00.007-05:002017-04-02T21:40:32.651-05:00What Was Mary Surratt Like?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Did Mary Surratt have the personality of a criminal? Could she be a party to murder? What can we decide from the little we know about her growing up years and the person she came to be as an adult? What do we learn about her from the trial proceedings?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTAgmbZSCPS1-QQnDIpfjhEu1twFG9t521ZLRXEPiOLuKA-KtEqZZ_voF1-yb3blIWkO4O4DlSZ6uGhn5uSLTvbQnMGRwNRG9yuiNvxHIXAJGtTyTlG3CUDhr5K8rVCjxL0Df1XA8nHxEn/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTAgmbZSCPS1-QQnDIpfjhEu1twFG9t521ZLRXEPiOLuKA-KtEqZZ_voF1-yb3blIWkO4O4DlSZ6uGhn5uSLTvbQnMGRwNRG9yuiNvxHIXAJGtTyTlG3CUDhr5K8rVCjxL0Df1XA8nHxEn/s320/images.jpg" width="226" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Mary was born and grew up in Waterloo, Maryland. Her family had a plantation, although not wealthy, they were financially secure. At the age of 12 she was sent to a Catholic boarding school in Alexandria, Virginia. The school closed when she was sixteen, so she returned home. Soon after her return she met John H. Surratt who was 11 years older than her. They married when she was seventeen and lived in D.C. in a home Surratt had inherited from his foster parents. They had three children, Isaac, Anna and John Jr., in that order. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In 1851 their home was destroyed by fire. John Sr. decided not to rebuild and went to work in Virginia. He saved enough money and in 1852 bought a farm (247 acres) near Mary's childhood home in Waterloo. There they grew tobacco and raised pigs. Their home also became a tavern & inn and eventually a U.S. post office which was run out of the tavern. In those days the town or village was named after the appointed postmaster thus their land and the surrounding land became known as Surrattsville. December 6, 1853, John Sr. also purchased the 4-story townhouse in Washington D.C. which eventually became the boarding house where the conspiracy to murder Lincoln was allegedly hatched.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
John Surratt Sr. had a drinking and gambling problem and was known to physically abuse Mary. He died of a heart attack or stroke during the summer of 1862. He left Mary with an overwhelming amount of debt as a result of his gambling problem. In order to make ends meet, Mary moved to their Washington home with Anna and turned it into a respectable boarding house. For a while John Jr. remained in Surrattsville and ran the post office, but was found to be running a courier service for the Confederate army and therefore lost his position. The tavern was leased to John Lloyd an ex-police officer and alcoholic.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
John Jr. joined Mary and Anna at their residence in Washington. Through his work with the Confederate army, John Jr. came to know John Wilkes Booth who became a frequent visitor at the boarding house once John Jr. moved there, along with the other men later identified as co-conspirators. Did Mary know of their activity? She always claimed she was innocent and did not know what they were doing. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
On April 14, 1865 Booth shot Lincoln at the Ford theatre, where Booth was an actor. Lincoln died the following morning. The detectives decided "One bullet killed the president, but not one man." So, they arrested those who associated with Booth. Since Mary owned the boarding house that he often visited, she was arrested on the night on April 17, 1865. The arresting officers were men of the Union, those being arrested were sympathizers of the South. The defense attorney for Mary was also a Union war hero. At first Frederick Aiken did not want to defend her, so set out to prove she was guilty.<br />
<br />
He was unable to prove her guilt and eventually came to actually defend her and believe in her. Mary was a gracious woman and a well educated woman for the time. She spoke clearly to Aiken and quite often challenged him in matters of truth. At one point Aiken was to find out where John Surratt Jr. had gone. Mary would not give him that information (if she even had it). It appeared that Aiken could arrange a trade, he offered Mary her freedom for the whereabouts of her son. It is a question we are left with...did she give up her own life for her son's? Or did she really not know?<br />
<br />
One thing for sure, she always had her rosary beads with her and she met often with the priest. She appeared to be a devout Catholic, who very much loved her children, doing everything she could to support them. She did not take on a martyr role but argued hard regarding her innocence.<br />
<br />
I remember so clearly the point in the movie when one of the witnesses was telling an untruth on the witness stand. Mary stood up at the defense table and screamed "that is a lie!" Of course, she had to get herself under control or would have been removed from the proceedings for contempt of court. I had the same thing happen in my own trial...the same gut reaction when the Detective started lieing on the stand. All eyes came to me and the Judge, waiting to see if I would be thrown out and charged with contempt. I was right with Mary when I saw her reaction during her trial...it was as if I was reliving my own trial.<br />
<br />
While I know I am seeing this from my own perspective, it is just too powerful and similar for me too walk away from it. Her reactions and demeanor in court. Her discussions with Aiken about truth while imprisoned in a filthy cell. The way she was always pleasant to her visitors. Her draw to God. The way she held on to her rosary as if the truth would save her. Her happiness when she was able to finally visit with her daughter. Her happiness when they thought she would not be hung because of the habeas her attorney had submitted to a Judge and was approved by the Judge at the last minute. Then, President Andrew Johnson had the habeas suspended and moments later she was marched out to execution. The disappointment and sadness was tangible, but even then she did not cower, she was so brave.<br />
<br />
We cannot know why God allows things to happen. But look at this, 150 years later we are still examining what happened to Mary Surratt. She did not act as a guilty person. She did not have the profile of a criminal. There are lessons to be learned in this history. Malicious prosecution. Constitutional Rights. Truth. There is a lot for us to soul search. How does all of this relate to our current times? Such a timely movie and so well done. "The Conspirator" Was she really?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHb6ua7Hi9O9QQdZTUBnNamoik176gSY9MqwCGGMpBhj_IS7FkV9aJ5AKHUzB4XLt1lLkR4j5a4uNXEYoqfNeqlfXMyxydOk02yaaFzoIJJxdisdxENelGT1YG_d9DNPcfiB1sNOHsyWrV/s1600/gravestone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHb6ua7Hi9O9QQdZTUBnNamoik176gSY9MqwCGGMpBhj_IS7FkV9aJ5AKHUzB4XLt1lLkR4j5a4uNXEYoqfNeqlfXMyxydOk02yaaFzoIJJxdisdxENelGT1YG_d9DNPcfiB1sNOHsyWrV/s320/gravestone.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-2149529208757379792011-05-07T17:12:00.035-05:002017-04-02T21:40:32.655-05:00Stories from Surrattsville<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yesterday my husband and I went to the movies and saw "The Conspirator". I had so many memories flood back to me. In my last blog I mentioned that for most of my growing up years we lived in Maryland. Our home was in Clinton, Maryland which is just south of Washington DC (about 10 miles) so we were considered a suburb to DC. Across Branch Avenue, less than a mile from our home, was Andrews Air Force Base. And, 1.8 miles in another direction from our home was old "downtown" Clinton and the home of Mary Surratt, the subject of the movie. Clinton used to have the name of Surrattsville and was changed following the "trial" of Mary Surratt. I highly recommend seeing this movie, its an extraordinary accounting of history (the murder of president Abraham Lincoln and the following trial of Mary Surratt as a conspirator) and in my opinion a study of yet another case of falsely accused and wrongly convicted. But then, go see the movie and you decide!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMLgWbmBhG1x4xcFUC8xChoZtHPX5BZyvbCBelAt0fwWHi2GbfnXoKuPgwuEzATUxuzOahBJ1SDVmp9-yGhKvD7jSwv0l9Sra8p8HrsPxQ1CYF7J0NPXO98RtNUIlVtWWYVMeGtATfY0gO/s1600/marysurratt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMLgWbmBhG1x4xcFUC8xChoZtHPX5BZyvbCBelAt0fwWHi2GbfnXoKuPgwuEzATUxuzOahBJ1SDVmp9-yGhKvD7jSwv0l9Sra8p8HrsPxQ1CYF7J0NPXO98RtNUIlVtWWYVMeGtATfY0gO/s320/marysurratt.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
Growing up in Clinton I attended Surrattsville Elementary, Junior High and High School. I did not graduate from SHS as we spent my 10th grade year in Florida, then back to Maryland for most of 11th and on to Albuquerque for my Senior year. I kept in contact with my friends I grew up with and they made sure I had a yearbook for each of the three high school years plus I was invited to graduation which I wouldn't have missed for the world (although, as an observer). It was always interesting and a mystery to me why they would rename the city but keep the schools named after the Surratt family. As a child I understood the Mary Surratt story as follows: </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
Mary Surratt was the first women hung in the United States. She helped John Wilkes Booth following the assassination of Lincoln. He had hurt his leg and came to Mary Surratt for help, she took him to Dr. Samuel Mudd and assisted Dr. Mudd in patching up his leg. The story goes, she did not know she was helping a criminal but that didn't matter they hung her anyway.</div>
</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgq6ruFHZCaqtNPbSZ2-1adEAeJHVBG1ghGtHah1ZD3jcY9wW6HyeugatKWFjuGM2rluK_g2z9uqUKviuK59HmxcwQm9BiXxKMTKwIdcOfFJS0cxPYlcPjlet3hAZXzjNNeGnZlnbbUSHX/s1600/Mary+Surratts+hometavernpostoffice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgq6ruFHZCaqtNPbSZ2-1adEAeJHVBG1ghGtHah1ZD3jcY9wW6HyeugatKWFjuGM2rluK_g2z9uqUKviuK59HmxcwQm9BiXxKMTKwIdcOfFJS0cxPYlcPjlet3hAZXzjNNeGnZlnbbUSHX/s400/Mary+Surratts+hometavernpostoffice.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Above is the Surratt house. For all my years living in Clinton it was boarded up, with an historic marker out front (and considered haunted). Now it is a museum. Back in the day, it served as the Surratt's home, an inn with a tavern and the local post office.<br />
<br />
Below is the boarding house that Mary Surratt owned and ran. It was in Washington DC and the location where the conspiracy was allegedly hatched.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdj7D-NqKixPou_OvuPAI_HpYgus6VdvElAR0DNfCpYy1dj8sX4kx9K6Jri5H3Fl1bhchsscMRkDMdH_PkHASdBRJ747LcskjBBxaZBOou3IrhUsDZtQ4W-7u5WFb3QNepQY5ofFnsYbUo/s1600/imagesCAB9KT0M.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdj7D-NqKixPou_OvuPAI_HpYgus6VdvElAR0DNfCpYy1dj8sX4kx9K6Jri5H3Fl1bhchsscMRkDMdH_PkHASdBRJ747LcskjBBxaZBOou3IrhUsDZtQ4W-7u5WFb3QNepQY5ofFnsYbUo/s400/imagesCAB9KT0M.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Over my many years since growing up when somebody asked me where I grew up I'd tell them the Clinton/Surrattsville story (the child's version above). And of course they had never heard of it. Until NOW and NOW that I've seen the movie (which is historically accurate) I know the story to be different and definitely more complicated. As you can imagine, the story has peaked my interest for many reasons. Mary Surratt always claimed she was innocent. And after watching her hoax of a trial and reading further of the withholding of evidence I recognize a poignant juxtaposition between Mary Surratt's case and my own, as I am sure there is with any case supporting a wrongful conviction.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Based on the movie and an account of the court proceedings I have made a comparison below. Amazing how 150 years just dissolves when looking at the impact of corruption and deception within the justice system.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<ul>
<li>Both Mary Surratt and I claimed innocence from the start and throughout the proceedings.</li>
<li closure_uid_xk2uar="69">Mary Surratt was perceived as having too much information and not coming forth. In my case I did have too much information related to my ex-client's divorce and he needed to destroy my credibility.</li>
<li>Our constitutional rights were violated - both cases are lacking in due process. In my case those violations were outlined in my <a href="http://alllthingsworktogetherforgood.blogspot.com/2011/02/can-they-have-it-both-ways.html">previous blog</a> whereas Mary Surratt's were discussed in the movie and primarily relate to civilians being tried by military tribunals. That very issue was pending in the Supreme Court during the conspiracy trials.</li>
<li>Manufactured testimony by several witnesses. Ironically, one of the men who falsely testified against Mary Surratt was Louis <u>Weichmann</u>. In my own case the computer forensic expert, John <u>Weichmann</u>, was right with us throughout the pretrial hearings, but in my trial he changed his story and was used to neutralize my claim of the computer and its exculpatory evidence.</li>
<li>Withheld exculpatory evidence. In Mary Surratt's case it was the diary of John Wilkes Booth. In my own case it was the computer files, accounts payable records and bank account Internet access log.</li>
<li>The appearance of underhanded deals for those falsely testifying. In the case of Mary Surratt those deals have been identified. In my case, the Motion in Limine is blatant and other deals appear to exist.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's time for us to insist that prosecution no longer enjoy absolute immunity but become accountable, otherwise they will continue to walk all over our Constitutional Rights and nobody is safe in this country. In the case of Mary Surratt it was the military tribunal benefiting from immunity. Current day prosecutorial absolute immunity has come about in recent years as discussed in <a href="http://gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com/2011/05/eliminate-judge-made-immunity-for.html">this</a> "Grits for Breakfast" blog posting. As a voter it is so important you are aware of malicious prosecution and let your representatives hear from you, otherwise you and everybody else in this country are unprotected and the abuse of power goes unchecked. The founding principles of this country and our U.S. Constitution must be upheld. The Constitution is not a political tool as some have called it, it is a safeguard put in place by our founding fathers to prevent the tyranny they experienced in England and the very reason for colonizing in America.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
For those of you who have seen the movie, you may enjoy these follow ups on the lives of some of the main characters and other small tidbits:</div>
<ul>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
John Surratt (son of Mary Surratt) - who was in Elmira, New York at time of assassination, fled to Canada, then on to Europe. He was captured in Alexandria. He stood trial in a <u>civilian court</u>, the jury could not agree on the verdict - it was 8 to 4 in favor of an acquittal. The Judge declared a mistrial. The prosecutors did not ask for another trial. By August 1968, Surratt was free. He married and had seven children. He taught school and occasionally lectured on his relationship with John Wilkes Booth.</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
Anna Surratt (daughter of Mary Surratt) - had several children. Four years following Mary Surratt's execution Anna was able to have her mother's body moved to a proper grave.</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
Joseph Holt (chief prosecutor) - became a recluse. "He came to believe that the legal process used to try the conspirators - the military commission - wasn't legal after all." Not only was Holt chief prosecutor in the conspiracy trials, he was also legal advisor to the tribunal, "impartially" advising them as to same trials (a conflict of interest). When the trials were over Holt was accused of keeping evidence from the defense and the plea for clemency (prepared by five members of the tribunal) from the President. One piece of evidence (held by the FBI today) that was notably missing from the trial was John Wilkes Booth's diary. It was proven that Holt had it prior to the trials. The diary would have been a key piece of evidence for the defendants.</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
President Andrew Johnson went through an impeachment trial in his second term. The diary of John Wilkes Booth was used in the trial against Johnson. There are several missing pages from the diary which have never been found.</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
Andrews Air Force Base is built on what used to be part of Surratt's land. I think they got it for a steal!</div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: justify;">
In the year following the trials and executions, the Supreme Court decision (Ex part Milligan) held that American civilians could not be tried by a military tribunal. </div>
</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<br /></div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-83971406527063663692011-04-28T22:50:00.013-05:002011-07-12T10:47:04.529-05:00Life Lessons... from a meteorologist?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This must be my influential people blog series. Last blog I told you about Albert Schweitzer and Victor Frankl and the tremendous impact they have had on my life. As I contemplated what I could possibly blog about next I was drawing a blank. So I sat, without thinking, in front of the TV watching all the weather and geological news. Tornadoes, draught and high winds, tsunami damage, earthquakes, severe thunderstorms, flooding! I have never cared much about watching television but weather fascinates me. The whole time I'm watching television and looking out my window to see if I can locate the newest developing wall cloud or funnel cloud or smell the smoke from the wildfires or see my car get pelted by hail or washed away in a flood, I'm thinking "Oh, if Dad were only here, we are having epic proportions of severe weather, he would be right in the middle of all this!"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Growing up in our home with Dad as a meteorologist had a significant influence in my life. My dad wasn't one of the TV guys. He worked for the National Weather Service, also known as NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration). For many years we lived in Maryland where he was a forecaster at the Suitland, Maryland office which was NOAA headquarters for the Northern Hemisphere. In his later years he was Meteorologist-In-Charge ("MIC") at the Albuquerque office which oversaw all of New Mexico and parts of Colorado and Arizona.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMd9Qw5ajJs216hI4grg0fD6KGdAUb5piTF0OJGu2AGbIJ6eTtDUwOriCNfpIz1rvPY6i9O_eILT1DT6So1-7Eyl62N5nzHfodx21TzsBcyotrECQDrDq-rs81k8yFW3ORDAeinPOP6pQ4/s1600/dad+at+work+1971.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMd9Qw5ajJs216hI4grg0fD6KGdAUb5piTF0OJGu2AGbIJ6eTtDUwOriCNfpIz1rvPY6i9O_eILT1DT6So1-7Eyl62N5nzHfodx21TzsBcyotrECQDrDq-rs81k8yFW3ORDAeinPOP6pQ4/s400/dad+at+work+1971.jpg" width="395" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
There are many characteristics of a man who lives in a world of probabilities. For instance it was close to impossible as a child to ever get a straight "YES" or "NO" from him. If I was in a hurry, it would make me crazy! But, certainly, it was to my benefit to get a "maybe" or a "possibly" on things that my mother might have nixed straight out. Although, I also remember him explaining to me when a forecast comes out at 50% it is like saying nothing, so one DOES need to take a stand in one direction or the other and not sit on the fence, but it must be well thought out. Likewise he taught me to question what people call "facts" because quite often those are really opinions and the truth lies somewhere in between the two extremes. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Many years later, when my first child developed autism and I was told by the public school system he would never develop beyond what he was at the age of four and I would eventually need to institutionalize him, I questioned the experts. I decided there must be other possibilities, because so long as I was alive (and after, if possible), I would make certain he was never institutionalized. Further, I spent so much time with him and could clearly see he was a lot smarter than the school was giving him credit for. What a gift my dad had given me, believing in all the possibilities! Nate, now almost 20 yrs old, is amazing! He far exceeded their expectations, what he understands, what he has learned to do and how he communicates in so many ways. He is a complete joy to be around...my gentle giant.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My meteorologist dad taught me even more! About the age of eight, I remember being at the grocery store with my mom. We were checking out, minding our own business, when the grocery clerk started talking about how stupid the weathermen were, they never get anything right, she didn't know why we even had them as she could do a better job herself just looking out the window. My eyes grew large as I watched my mom closely, she just smiled and when given the chance changed the subject. When we got out to the car and we were driving away, I asked what that was all about, how come she didn't tell the clerk that was my Daddy she was talking about and tell her she was wrong! My mom was smart, she said that is a good question for your father, ask him when he gets home.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
With tears in my eyes I went running to my dad when he walked in the door that night and told him all about our trip to the grocery. He smiled and said there is no need to be upset. He explained many people do that when they don't understand something. He told me there was nothing more dynamic on this earth than the weather, meaning nothing changes faster. He then said, "When people criticize the weathermen they are not talking about me. They are speaking from a place of ignorance. They don't understand the science or the math of it. And that's okay. I never take these things personal and neither should you."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
When we developed The NOAH Project there were many who told me it would never work. But, it worked beautifully, the children responded in ways nobody could have predicted. Children who hadn't talked the first years of their life, said there first words and more. Children telling their mom and dad's they loved them, something the parents had given up on years before. Children, who were previously enveloped in their own world, began playing interactive games. Daily we were able to celebrate the progress of these special kids. Had I listened to all the nay sayers that year of successes would have never happened.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
When this case came against me, many people disappeared out of my life and some people spoke poorly behind my back. And, when I lost the trial, even more shrank away. And, when I came home after three years in prison, there were even fewer. I just remembered what my father said, don't get angry or hurt, just keep going. There are many who don't understand how the justice system works. Even with the most recent exonerations across the country, there are many who don't believe an innocent person can get convicted. And, they may never change their belief, even in light of all the evidence to the contrary. That, I have accepted and yes, I do understand, it is not about me and not about truth, it just is what it is. So, its up to me to move on, knowing that I am okay and doing what I need to do to clear my name. A GIANT life lesson.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The final story I want to share with you relates to our annual family vacations. For all the years we lived in Maryland, my parents would stuff our family in the car and travel out west, sometimes for two weeks and sometimes for a month. We would see relatives all along the way to Dallas, then head to Albuquerque and finally Phoenix. I always knew when we would hit New Mexico because my dad would start veering off the road. My mom would scream and we all jumped to attention. My father would pull over to the side of the road and point to a massive cloud formation. He'd say, "You see those thunderheads, see how the top of them forms a perfect anvil shape? You can't see this until we get out here to the wide open spaces, and that anvil shape signifies the most powerful thunderstorm that exists." He went on to tell us how important it was to respect such power and how it reminded him of the power of God. The beauty, the perfection, the absolute strength! He taught us in those weather lessons to honor and respect our Almighty God. He gave us visuals to anchor our faith. How grand is that?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmsZnUaKV3ar0rS0Xnnqe6udHXPI4KijvRvy5lwBORkb9w1qN_hE2Rr-OJL6dV8vMqWjghWrbhUQYpRDQ9s84uwjFAlsOpS7PU570PpX1dhEid6qsajMDdCcYdoWOEGPSliY4ICn2bc3WF/s1600/dad+at+mesa+verde+1992.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmsZnUaKV3ar0rS0Xnnqe6udHXPI4KijvRvy5lwBORkb9w1qN_hE2Rr-OJL6dV8vMqWjghWrbhUQYpRDQ9s84uwjFAlsOpS7PU570PpX1dhEid6qsajMDdCcYdoWOEGPSliY4ICn2bc3WF/s400/dad+at+mesa+verde+1992.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Thank you Dad for being in my life and teaching me such important lessons. May you rest in peace. </div>
<br /></div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-58929526559482061592011-04-16T17:53:00.020-05:002011-07-12T10:44:54.014-05:00Reverence for Life...Take Action<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's interesting how life works, isn't it? We are brought the very challenges we need at just the right time. I cannot say I would have asked for any of my particular challenges, at least not outright, but certainly they were presented. In each instance, it has always been clear to me that I was in charge of how I responded, for that is really all I have control of...my attitudes. As a result of that awareness I redefine challenges as opportunities.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have been drawn to the works of Albert Schweitzer for as far back as I can remember. A German man of many talents: he built organs, became an acclaimed organist, a church pastor and a university professor with a doctorate in philosophy. At the age of 30, aware of the need for medical care in Africa, he decided to become a medical doctor and devote the rest of his life to serving these people. At the age of 37 he opened a hospital in Lambarene, Gabon - at the time a French province in Equatorial Africa. He continued there until his death, at the age of 90, traveling back and forth to Europe for fundraising and gathering of supplies over the years. During World War I, both Schweitzer and his wife were imprisoned in France until the war was over, both becoming very ill because of the conditions in the prison. In his life he wrote several books, my favorite is "Reverence For Life". Schweitzer was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize at the age of 78.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Reverence for Life is a philosophy and speaks to our responsibility for all that we do, and calls upon us to have awareness and respect for all living things. A simple message that gets overlooked so easily.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The other author who has had a significant influence in my life is Viktor Frankl with his book "Man's Search for Meaning". Frankl was a Holocaust survivor and speaks to our responsibility to choose our attitude in any given circumstance, thus his own survival in a concentration camp of World War II. He went on to become a professor of psychiatry and neurology plus an author of several books, helping many in the healing of their lives.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Both Schweitzer and Frankl lived challenging lives, helped others and believed strongly in always doing the next right thing. Both wrote on the importance of attitude and awareness. Both were imprisoned as innocent men. Both were men of action, absolutely committed to making life better for others. Both have been quoted saying that words are meaningless without action. How can I not take action in my own life when I championed the lives and causes of these two men? My belief in Jesus and all His promises is the foundation setting underneath all of this...and probably the reason for my draw to the works of these two men in the first place. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Is it any wonder that I had a child whose personality and life were imprisoned with autism, giving me the opportunity of my life to connect and make certain he knew of my love for him. But I never really wanted to stop there, I wanted to share what I knew with other families. I still plan to continue in several different ways, by setting up a business that promotes a product for the nutritional needs of these kids whose immune systems are compromised, by writing books (for which I have partial drafts of two books) and by getting involved in working with these kids again. Although this time I will include the young adults as my sweet Nate is now almost 20 years old.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then of all things, I also had to endure life in prison, while falsely accused and wrongly convicted. But didn't the writings of Schweitzer and Frankl influence my response, allowing me to come home further enriched. I believe they must have. And now that I am out of prison I feel just as strongly a need to help victims of the justice system as my need to help those afflicted with autism (both child and family). But to just speak it, to just write in a blog about it, is not enough. I have decided I must take action.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
Through my experience of the justice system, I learned what is going on "inside", both inside the court room and inside the county jail and state prison. I learned there are so many people imprisoned in Texas who could more effectively be helped by rehabilitation. Like a dry alcoholic, they walk out of prison with all the same hungers....the addiction has not been confronted and healed, it may have been touched on at a superficial level. Some people are lucky enough to just quit, once clean for a time, but most are still driven by that addiction. They must do the healing of the underlying causes for their addictions, or they will be right back at it, medicating their pain. When I say that recidivism is not being addressed, this is what I am talking about. By not healing these people (those that are willing - which in my experience are numerous) then we are just providing a revolving door within the criminal justice system.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Further, EDUCATION!! It must be increased. Many of those imprisoned are without proper education. We are not preparing people to reenter society with skills that will keep them from falling back into trouble. People leaving prison have got to be employable. Many are not, thus moving back into illegal activities to provide a living or means of survival. Are we for our people in this country or not? It is so difficult to get my arms around the fact that we are one of the most advanced countries on this earth, yet so many people are falling through the cracks. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
On the employable issue there is yet another piece. <a href="http://gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com/2011/04/criminal-record-barrier-to-job-seeking.html">Twenty one percent of</a> Americans have a "criminal background" given our runaway justice system. Their must be a shift in thinking by recruiters and employers or there will be no hiring of those with criminal backgrounds, thus increasing our government subsidy programs (food stamps, Medicaid, MHMR payments, TANF, etc). What many people do not realize is this group can be the hardest workers, with some of the best work ethics, as they are motivated to prove they are worthy. Positive reinforcement is giant to these people. That is what most would seek and respond to in prison and that is what will work once released to really bring them to a new lifestyle as they become productive citizens.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then of course there are the falsely accused and wrongly convicted group. More people than I ever imagined. Even one person in this category is too many. In fighting my own case, I hope to provide a way for others to follow. The appeal system is very cumbersome and unfriendly and many just give up or never begin the process feeling defeated from the start, but does it have to be that way? I will continue to write about how the false accusations and wrongful conviction came about in my own case thus increasing awareness. Once exonerated I will publish a book with far more details than I have shared in this blog. Even then, that is not enough, there is a need to get involved with those who are fighting this fight, helping in any way that I can. Checks and balances must be brought to our justice system. Without that, it will continue. As I've said before, those that are a party to false arrests and convictions have to be made accountable. Otherwise, there will be more families disrupted by this insanity. There must be a movement for reform in our justice system to prevent this miscarriage of justice in the future. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
When I think in terms of Reverence for Life, there can really be no other way. It is our responsibility as human beings to stand up for the causes that relate to respect and betterment of fellow humans and for our living earth....be that in the treatment of autism or the healing of those incarcerated or the many other causes that effect each of our lives. One has to ask, what touches my heart? How can I help? How can we improve the quality of our lives and others' right now? When we leave this world, don't we want to leave it a better place for our kids and all those that follow? I know I do!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-87089555645813036602011-04-13T14:04:00.015-05:002017-04-02T21:40:32.665-05:00AND...The Parents Spoke<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: justify;">Following my indictment and subsequent move back to Texas I was having a very difficult time finding work. As you saw in an earlier blog I was being encouraged by my Internet "team" to interview, tell very little and get on with supporting my family. The arrest record was out there and I found I needed to be totally honest with anybody who was a potential employer. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">After much brainstorming with my "team" it occurred to me I could restart our Speaking Series and turn it into a 3-day training workshop for parents and educators interested in this type of program for their children with autism and charge a fee. I had a good friend who developed a website for this new entity based on our experience at NOAH. I had lined up speakers for the first training session. I had over three hundred mail-outs ready to go.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">The new training organization was called "Re-Emerge.com" after the children. For these children appear to be born normal, have normal development for a time and then within the first year start to withdrawal. Many of the parents actually have videos capturing this change. They thought they were filming their child's development but soon came to find the child began disconnecting and eventually became enveloped in their own exclusive world. As a parent it is rather shocking to watch and find you have no power to stop it. The program we used in NOAH, and prior to that a home-based program for my son, Nate, actually brought that child back from his/her exclusive world, through very intense one-on-one, interactive, exciting and encouraging methods. Thus, the name "Re-Emerge". My friend and I started the development of Re-Emerge.com in February 2005 and launched the website in April 2005. The site described what our program looked like at The NOAH Project (including pictures), then detailed the agenda for the first three day training workshop and the biographies of the many professionals presenting in the workshop. The Re-Emerge website brought a lot of attention and apparently some controversy with the courts.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">On April 28, 2005 I had a hearing at the court to discuss the end of my first year bond and to begin the PR (Personal Recognizance) bond due to my indigent status plus meet my court appointed attorney. The prosecutors already had word of this new business and website I was starting as I was court ordered to cease all such activity. The PR bond required me to take the website down immediately and do no business on the Internet. I was told I could not do these training sessions. When I asked my newly assigned attorney why not? He, who had my case for all of one day, said so I would not be allowed to "defraud any more parents." I just couldn't believe my ears. The parents were not complaining about the school, they had seen only progress with their kids. In fact, very significant progress.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Almost two years earlier, when I was first notified my client could no longer fund the school, I had called an emergency meeting that very evening with many of the parents, the Board members and a small group of business consultants. Those parents rallied to keep The NOAH Project open. We brainstormed that first night we met as to what we could do in the short term. Several of us left with specific assignments and meetings to initiate with other community leaders and foundations. We met again a couple weeks later, regarding updates on progress and how best to continue our efforts. In the month of October we gave it everything we had to keep from closing that school. Not one parent left that school feeling defrauded! Disappointed - YES! We were all disappointed, but defrauded - NO! Just did not happen. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">My attorney never brought those meetings up in the course of my trial. He "saved" the parents testimonies for the sentencing phase. He always told me that was how he was going to do it - use them as character references once I was convicted. You see, he never planned to win the trial, didn't believe he could (being a typical public defender - just wanted me to plea) and therefore he didn't really prepare. When my husband and I questioned the public defender's commitment to my case, he just shrugged and said it would be an easy appeal.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Here are a few of the testimonies from the parents of the school. Keep in mind these testimonies were given almost four years following the school's closure:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><u>Ms. Bell:</u> I chose the NOAH Project because Audrey White was providing a full treatment for the child, not just an educational, but also for parents which is huge. There is - the suicidal rate for parents with autistic kids is high and divorce rate is high so training for the parents is very important. Because she provided a special diet which most these children need - special food not like what is being provided for in the public school arena or any other public school or private school that was around. And the one-on-one attention and treatment intensity that she was providing for my daughter in the program was unlike any other. And so it was all encompassing, treat the whole child type of program. The program (also) changed my life more than it probably did my daughter's because, you know, I didn't know how to work with my child, I didn't know the attitudes that the program taught and I wasn't positive. I was negative, angry, bitter and everything just because of ...one part of ignorance, other reasons for lack of training, so the training that the program ...that Audrey provided was life changing.</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><br />
</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em>Regarding the school closing <u>Ms. Bell</u> said: It was devastating. It was sad. But, you know, Audrey didn't stop just because the school closed. She didn't stop supporting us as parents to help our children. Her help continued on as long as she could. And so what we were able to do was take a couple teachers that worked with my child from The NOAH Project and bring them into our home and continue the same program in our house.</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><br />
</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em>Then <u>Ms. Bell</u> described the effect The NOAH Project had on the people that worked there: The gal that worked with my child wasn't even a teacher certified for special needs, but because of the opportunity Audrey provided to these people that worked there, they were inspired to go and get their (special ed) teacher certificate. Many of them were therapists. They went on to be special ed teachers, Highland Park, Plano, McKinney, Garland and so now these people were trained from the program that Audrey provided in a way that the public school can't even begin to train its people. And so now they're out there helping other children that are not as fortunate as my daughter was to go to The NOAH Project.</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><br />
</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><u>Mr. Atkins:</u> Well, Audrey's school...yes. Audrey's school was based on a methodology which was developed at a place in Massachusetts.... and you know, what happened was that interaction and that connection with the child ended up bringing the child out of his shell over time. Its not a fast process, but at least there was hope. Here was a program that didn't cap what our child's progress was going to be. Here was a program that didn't deter him from being who he was at the time, but also encouraged him, you know to progress at the pace he wanted to progress. He was only there for two months, maybe two and a half, but in two months went from completely non-verbal and not being able to interact with his siblings, not being able to communicate, and at the end of it his vocabulary had already started to blossom. Now he wasn't completing sentences but he was making requests. he was able to develop words like yes, no, uh-huh and huh-uh as some simple communications that a child has already mastered at 12 - 13 months, well our son was three, and we hadn't been successful in getting him to master that. And introducing this new approach already began to break down some of those walls and introduce those new communication tools with him. And he was giving us eye contact where that wasn't possible before, and really put on a path that we have continued to follow to this day with him. And so the benefit of those two and a half months, in my opinion, reaches far beyond the time that he was at that school.</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><br />
</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><u>Mrs. Atkins:</u> My son was non verbal and didn't know who we were. And by The NOAH Project and having the therapy, he began to speak and say "MAMA" for the first time after like maybe six weeks, which was more than I could have ever wanted or knew that I could have from him.</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><br />
</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><u>Mrs. West:</u> Well I have to say amazing progress, not only in him (her son), but just observing other children. And that was why I so wanted that program after working there for two weeks and seeing the amazing results and just the children connecting. I just knew that was the program I wanted for me (and my son). My child has made great strides with the program. And not only in his life, in our lives too.</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><br />
</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><u>Mr. Foley:</u> The individual, isolated one-on-one therapy, with individual facilitators. That is what he (my son) needed. Like I said it was a clean environment with no distractions, one room that was his. You had viewing glass where you (as a parent) could go in at any time. I would go in there, on my lunches and things like that, and watch and observe. That is what I liked about it, the individual one-on-one, which is what a child with autism needs. You started to get more eye contact and more reactions from him. An autistic child tends to concentrate on the peripheral, not on the subject or the conversation. And we started to notice improvement that because, and that was mainly because of the ...It was intense one-on-one therapy. It was several hours a day, five days a week.</em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">How much of a difference would these testimonies have made during the actual trial? Another pertinent piece that was left out of the trial was that I continued to work with a group of business consultants to get the school reorganized and reopened. We sent out reorganization investor packages to major corporations connected to the business consultants that December 2003. These are not actions a thief would take. Yet even then, given the above testimonies, the prosecutor told the jury that I traumatized the parents and kids of The NOAH Project. How do prosecutors get away with these sorts of statements? She also told the jury I "did it" because I was aspiring to be the "Queen of Autism" while she stood in front of me at the defendant table pointing at me, with her voice raised to the rafters. Why do we allow such false courtroom drama? We swear to tell the truth, why doesn't the prosecutor do likewise?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">If you could have only seen me back in the day...I was working two full time jobs, one my financial business and two, as <u>volunteer</u> Director of NOAH. I was hardly the picture of a queen, more like a frazzled mom, over-committed and working around the clock. Did I want great things for me? That was never what this was about...it was to help a few families and their children and hopefully be a part of a new movement in the treatment of our kiddos....a more holistic approach, treating all aspects of the child, including the most important relations in their lives...their parents. Nobody loves these kids more than their parents, nor will there be any greater lifetime advocates for these special kids than the parents. Growing that healthy relationship is absolutely the key to our special childrens' developmental success. <br />
<br />
Further, this program did not belong to me. I didn't create it. I only coordinated the pieces, where it had been a home-based program before, we brought it to a school setting, so it could be more scientifically documented on its way to becoming mainstreamed. It was simply an attitude, a set of beliefs and methodologies. Had it continued, the successes would have gone to the credit of its originators, we had a written agreement which set all that out. There is the truth of it...more of what the jury never heard before convicting me.<br />
<br />
</div></div>Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-74588548602303909082011-04-06T13:47:00.024-05:002017-04-02T21:40:32.662-05:00The Costs are HUGE!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The Internet dialogues continued with my "team" but I was becoming more disillusioned as I began to really understand...there was no white knight in shining armor going to save me from this system and each day the Texas justice system took on a more oppressive and dark look. My second attorney, Mark Perez, had just asked for an additional $50,000. I was unable to pay so he withdrew and I was awaiting the court's decision on my indigent status and a court appointed attorney. The dialogue went as follows:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> I wonder when all this is done...if my faith in anything will be restored??? Its hard for me right now to even TRUST. So much of what I believed in is being challenged.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>lionheartix:</u> I've noticed that. lol</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> I believed in good wins out. I believed that there was such a thing as justice. I believed in the police.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>lionheartix:</u> we all did....we grew up with those ideals.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> I didn't want to become a skeptic. Now I am told truth doesn't matter to the people I believed upheld it? Why aren't they honest with what they teach us in school? What ever happened to authenticity?</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>lionheartix:</u> some people go through their whole lives without ever being challenged. But, it is said, that the more one is challenged, the more character it builds.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> it seems like I might have enough already! Maybe we could hit the media really hard with this case then they would be forced to move it out of Texas to a new venue. I just don't trust Texas or the power these men have over the political/justice system.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>lionheartix:</u> It just doesn't make sense for Perez to push you for $50 more grand for this. Or...drop your case.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> he said he checked with other attorneys and that was "fair"...I would think he would set his own fair standards. I'll tell you what is not fair...is being falsely accused....that I have to waste valuable time on this...</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>lionheartix:</u> you're right.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> about what?</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>lionheartix:</u> it being a waste of time. You are all stressed out for all this time, and it is a waste.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> it is...for everybody involved...including the taxpayers money.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>lionheartix:</u> I'm glad I don't live in Dallas County. I don't pay into the peoples' paychecks of Dallas County.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> yeah...but this happens everywhere...it seems inherent in the legal system. Perez was good, just when I start feeling confident...it seems as though I get hit again.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>lionheartix:</u> that has been happening, for sure.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> I feel sad, scared, angry...all wrapped up into one ball.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>lionheartix:</u> keep hanging in there.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> I will... the only happy moments I feel as though I have are mostly with Nate and Brandon [my sons]....even then the dark cloud seems to come around.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>lionheartix:</u> OK...things are tough now. It will pass.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><br />
</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<em><u>ifonlythiswasover:</u> I know.....</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This dialogue really brings out several important factors. Of course the most obvious, is the emotional and mental toll it takes on the lives of people involved. But, look at the costs!!! Once falsely accused it became almost impossible to get a job....what with all my court appearances and attorney appointments. Eventually someone hired me for the two years just prior to the trial and gave me the flexibility I needed. I was being paid less than 25% of what I was used to earning, but I was extremely grateful for that, so at least I could pay the rent and feed my family.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
BUT....Dear Taxpayers!! The cost of the system! Unbelievable the amount of wasted tax dollars that go into the falsely accused and wrongly convicted cases....and to many others who probably could benefit from probation/out-patient rehab or those who should have much shorter sentences. Most people don't fight the system....don't feel as though they can...and just plea. The cost to take care of each prisoner is significant...somewhere in the range of $40 - $50,000 per year/person incarcerated (not including medical). But for someone fighting their case....there are significantly more costs: attorney fees, forensics (or in my case - prosecution and civil attorneys fighting to keep the forensics out). Look at the payrolls of the judges, the prosecutors, public defenders, all the other employees involved with the overcrowded court system. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In Texas alone, the line item in the budget for prisons is $5 billion. That doesn't include city or county jails or any of the court proceedings. Do we really have that many outlaws?!?! Or do we just have a runaway justice system?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Here are some statistics for you to think about. The United States has the biggest prison population on earth and we have the highest incarceration rate of any nation. Our incarceration rate is six times higher than China, a place we like to believe is far more oppressive than we are. The USA is home to only 5% of the world's population, but one quarter of the world's prisoners. The blog called "Grits for Breakfast" has an excellent short video on this very subject...it is a <a href="http://gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com/2011/04/prisons-vs-higher-ed.html">PBS segment</a> you will not want to miss! If you want to read further, there is a recent thirty three page study titled <a href="http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1649164">"Cost and Punishment: Reassessing Incarceration Costs and the Value of College-In-Prison Programs"</a> by Gregory Knott.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have seen estimates as high as 3,500 - 5,000 innocents sitting in the Texas prison system. I don't know the actual number. They say that is the cost of having an effective justice system, "errors will be made". I don't think there was "error" in my case, as I've shared with you regarding the pretrial Hearings, my complaint letters and notifications and of course, the Motion in Limine filed 10 days before my trial. I have heard similar stories over and over again....some while I was incarcerated and others since I have been out. There is an enormous cost associated with wrongful convictions both in terms of wasted tax dollars and the effect it has on the ability of the wrongful convicted to ever live a fully productive life again. Society pays the toll for this prison boom.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
There are many ways to change what is happening. The study linked above talks about college programs to prisoners so they might be employable when released thus reducing recidivism. That is great, but in the job market of today, employers are not hiring people with criminal backgrounds...most especially in the professional world. Once our ailing economy is healed there will still have to be an attitude shift of employers and recruiters. It is important for our society to raise its awareness with regard to these issues and become much more educated as to how our tax dollars are being spent so that we are better equipped to make informed votes as well as speaking out for what is right. Check with organizations like <a href="http://www.projectnotguilty.com/">Project: Not Guilty</a> and <a href="http://ipoftexas.org/">The Innocence Project of Texas</a> to gather more information and see how you might help.<br />
<br />
The immunity given the courts, prosecution and police needs to be closely monitored. Immunity can be a set up for conspiracy thus allowing innocent people to be convicted. Besides victims of conspiracy, people falsely accused and wrongly convicted all have something else in common...a clear violation of their Constitutional Rights. We have seen or heard of it happening time and again. Those who accuse or pursue innocent people and knowingly withhold evidence need to be held accountable. In any other job in the world, those who are negligent or lie, lose their jobs. I think we need to take a hard look at the checks and balances in our justice system. It is up to us ...</div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: currentColor; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<span class="body"></span><br />
<br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution."</span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> ~Abraham Lincoln</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
</div>Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-44812871133920938672011-03-28T00:15:00.013-05:002017-04-02T21:40:32.659-05:00Political Undertones<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: justify;">Many times I have referred to myself as a political prisoner. That is an odd distinction for me as I have never been considered a political person. My interests have always swayed toward economic theory and psychology...and the next Sudoku puzzle. My case brought to light the politics of the Texas justice system and what is going on inside the Legislature, of course. But even that is not what I am talking about here.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Today I spent time on the blog called <a href="http://gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com/">Grits For Breakfast</a> as I do everyday to get my fill of what is going on in the Texas justice system and to make comments when something sparks a nerve or an idea. The "Grits" blog has been recognized by many, including The New York Times: On criminal justice, Grissom wrote, "<strong>WHO TO WATCH</strong> Scott Henson, a very knowledgeable blogger, who writes about all things criminal justice at <a href="http://gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: #dd8a37;">gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com</span></a>." In reading this blog, participating in the very active discussions via comments and in general enjoying how Scott Henson seems to have no fear...just puts it out there...he has the John Wayne version of "true grit", I decided this morning to just get more brave. <br />
<br />
It is time to put a piece of my case out there that I have been keeping to myself (and my attorneys and my husband and my mom....). I suppose you might be saying: but haven't you said it all by now? Well, far from it...after all I have to leave something for the book, RIGHT? Okay...here's another piece to this case of mine, although there was some mention of it in my post called <a href="http://alllthingsworktogetherforgood.blogspot.com/2011/01/dead-battery.html">A DEAD BATTERY?</a> I did not really explain and give you the timeline so you could see the significance. This may also explain more of the reason the Contributor's business partner is so involved. For those of you who are new to my blog, in my case the "Contributor" made the false allegations and his "business partner" masterminded the scheme against me and conspired in the fabrication. It has his signature all over it. I am just introducing David McCall in this post. I give this to you in the form of a timeline:<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">July 1, 1992</span> The business partner loans $200,000 to an insurance man's corporation who was buying an existing insurance company. The loan was made because he could not have ownership in an insurance agency in the state of Texas without having an insurance license. The rate of the loan is 18%. Its considered a "sweetheart" loan as no lender would have done this or accepted the terms of repayment (cash flow).<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">October 28, 1992</span> The business partner loans an additional $100,000 at a rate of 12% to same corporation for initial operating expenses. Another "sweetheart" loan.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Throughout 1993 and 1994</span> Interest on loans is paid as cash flow allows. Not something a typical lender would accept, but it is how someone having ownership in the business would be distributed cash. Further, the business partner and the insurance man have monthly meetings to go over the operations of the company.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">October 1994</span> The insurance business is sold. The loans and any remaining unpaid interest are paid off as well as a "back-end fee", called a "consulting fee" amounting to $185,910, in effect the business partner's share of the profits from the sale. He couldn't own a percentage of the business so he accomplished the same thing through the guise of a series of loans and a consulting fee.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">October 1996</span> David McCall, an ex-mayor of Plano, pleaded guilty to bank fraud (<u>after</u> another ex-mayor of Plano, Jack Harvard, pleaded guilty to related charges and agreed to be a government witness against McCall). McCall is a new character in the story and his charges relate to the S&L scams of the 1980's. So McCall is now a felon and owns his own insurance company.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">August 13, 1998</span> Date of stock issuance for TCT Holdings, Inc. and the date newspapers say TCT was formed (by the insurance man from 1992 above) through the merging of three agencies which includes "The McCall Insurance Agency". I have copies of the stock issued to the Contributor and his business partner. The business partner bragged that once again they had ownership in an insurance agency without being licensed. So not only was that illegal but McCall 's continued ownership, once a felon, is illegal. Felons are not allowed to have ownership in insurance agencies in the state of Texas. I checked, there is no grandfather clause to that. Apparently David changed his name to Bruce McCall for the insurance company purposes. David's middle name started with "B", but was Benjamin, not Bruce, which is what he was using. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">1998- 2003</span> The business partner continues to require the insurance man to have monthly meetings with him to go over the operations and financials of the business. Micromanaging as usual. Once I started NOAH we used their agency for our policies. (Uh, would I use their agency if I was stealing from them? That would be bold!)<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">October 30, 2003</span> I received a call from Betsy of TCT telling me to extend the Directors & Officers insurance policy to cover end-of-business contingencies. The policy had lapsed a couple weeks earlier. Her example was ...what if a parent decided to sue us. I told her "No, we did not have the wherewithal to pay and I was not going to extend it." TCT went on and paid it anyway, extending without my permission. Remember the Contributor and his business partner have ownership in TCT!!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">November 2003</span> False police report and false insurance claims filed with regard to alleged theft for the funding of The NOAH Project school.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Thursday, February 12, 2004</span> McCall goes into a coma as a result of cancer.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Saturday, February 14, 2004</span> President Bush approves pardon of McCall. Alberto Gonzalez, then the General Counsel to the White House, drew up the pardon papers.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Monday, February 16, 2004</span> Presidential pardon of McCall is announced.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Tuesday, February 17, 2004</span> McCall dies, never came out of coma so doesn't even know he was pardoned.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Monday, February 23, 2004</span> Temple-Inland purchases TCT and renames it Guaranty Insurance Services.<br />
<br />
The pardon accomplished several things. It caused the continuing Federal investigation on McCall and subsequently his estate to cease. It cleared the way for the sale of TCT to an SEC regulated company. It also made the paper trail of the fraudulent claims and the extension of the policy related to my case impossible to follow. And, outside of the McCall pardon, the Contributor and business partner, once again get away with owning and profiting from an insurance agency that is not allowed under Texas law.<br />
<br />
Don't you wonder, given the false allegations on me and false insurance claims, how many more false claims there might have been? All of the Contributor's and business partner's development deals and existing finished properties and business operations were insured through this agency. Don't you wonder when someone changes their name to do business and was a felon as a result of the S&L insurance scams of the 80's what kind of business they were doing in this group of insurance companies that merged in the late 90's? There was a big question when Bush pardoned McCall....it was so out of pattern from all prior pardons of Bush. Much was written about that, in newspapers and blogs with many people speculating. It's far from a coincidence that a week after the pardon TCT was sold to Temple-Inland (a Texas based SEC regulated company). You know Temple-Inland would have done a fair amount of due diligence before buying TCT. But, not one word was ever spoken to me about this before I left at the end of October (just three months prior) and I was always placed in the middle of these types of transactions for my ex-clients....as a sort of watch dog. (No, I'm not a dog.)<br />
<br />
I handed this information to the prosecutors and what I was given in return was a Motion in Limine saying we could not bring up past "bad acts" of the Contributor or his business partner. That would include the false insurance claims made from the false allegations of me and the unlawful extension of NOAH's Directors and Officers policy....which was quite relevant to my defense.<br />
<br />
Further we subpoenaed all the insurance records from TCT (then Guaranty). They were not required to bring them to court. Instead my attorney and I went to their offices, after being told on the phone we would have to sort through about 15 to 20 boxes. When we arrived, we were ushered into a conference room and given two small stacks of paper with two of the previous TCT employees watching us and answering questions. Of course what we were looking for was not there. They were never made to render the documents as outlined in the subpoena. Nor did my attorney bring any of the people from TCT into the trial to be questioned. There were three people I specifically requested: the insurance man heading up all the deals and operations, and the two women who sat at that table the day we went to their offices, the three key personnel of TCT.<br />
<br />
Perhaps you see the political overtones I first spoke of in this blog. There is more and it relates to Harlan Crow, business partner to my two ex-clients and trustee to Bush's campaign funds. I was specifically told in the fall of 2004 to take nothing of what I knew regarding other issues to the media because this country could not afford to have John Kerry as President. At the same time my attorney asked for another $50,000 to continue on my case, of which everyone involved knew I could not afford, thus precipitating the recategorization of me to "indigent" and throwing me to the public defenders.<br />
<br />
For being a-political I managed to get right in the middle of things, wouldn't you say?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div></div>Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-21488671516514201722011-03-26T17:56:00.007-05:002011-07-12T10:38:37.572-05:00The Momentum of NOAH<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I promise to make this short. I have been lamenting on The NOAH Project and the momentum it gained in our community. Autism and its treatment is still getting a fair amount of media because autism is still a mystery and has become quite prevalent among our children. So much so that I believe every person in this country knows at least one family dealing with this phenomenon. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The NOAH Project speaking series addressed so many of the challenges faced by the families of children with autism. Following are some of the speaking topics and brief descriptions that were a part of our Speaking Series which was held in the Plano Centre. We had as many as almost 500 people show up from around the metroplex. Those attending were teachers, therapists, parents and caregivers of children with autism and other special needs. The passion I felt to help these children and their families just seemed infinite. After so much suppression by the legal system in this fabricated case against me, I am beginning to finally feel regenerated, thanks to a recent visit with my dear friend, Dorothy, who helped me start this school years ago. Rather we have another school or not I can sure write about it and finish the book I started.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrThbsyakgcXXHpFswQSZRT0Bouusc6Z61Oxk4vT4qbi0Ez2e7nPPQjJ1XLzkE1PBeZ5N45rqzM09qW-GxT20ivEYjrJDGr6LHaTpTetTNkiW-gV2cGYUq5OJbtm5cll2Iv4-f6dCICvqN/s1600/scan0007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrThbsyakgcXXHpFswQSZRT0Bouusc6Z61Oxk4vT4qbi0Ez2e7nPPQjJ1XLzkE1PBeZ5N45rqzM09qW-GxT20ivEYjrJDGr6LHaTpTetTNkiW-gV2cGYUq5OJbtm5cll2Iv4-f6dCICvqN/s640/scan0007.jpg" width="492" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzcq7E81eOkA-wHZRQeaYhwqlvij4aUcaJ4TcaR67nmzM604-HB6HRH6fiZlIvOWKrYD2AZB8QjoKOMad6B7nKRIL4aHQeYThTm3tMAmmorriM-46x5ETCaL8PyZrDef9WgEpFyLA5j3wX/s1600/scan0008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzcq7E81eOkA-wHZRQeaYhwqlvij4aUcaJ4TcaR67nmzM604-HB6HRH6fiZlIvOWKrYD2AZB8QjoKOMad6B7nKRIL4aHQeYThTm3tMAmmorriM-46x5ETCaL8PyZrDef9WgEpFyLA5j3wX/s640/scan0008.jpg" width="492" /></a></div>
<br />
Next are some pictures of a few of the amazing people who attended and community leaders that helped:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoPwXBolqCb3c2aCRH9FYs7O-UJKWe80nLkfamRzV4Fm7b04sCu0LvvNKC7mfl-MERONHHFViqlK9JOrs7Ddw024tXabwuXwPC6ahF-ZmDHFfnSPvoqPhpuqQOW5oKVeJiO3M0LfjaeALh/s1600/scan0012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoPwXBolqCb3c2aCRH9FYs7O-UJKWe80nLkfamRzV4Fm7b04sCu0LvvNKC7mfl-MERONHHFViqlK9JOrs7Ddw024tXabwuXwPC6ahF-ZmDHFfnSPvoqPhpuqQOW5oKVeJiO3M0LfjaeALh/s400/scan0012.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwoe4_lAsCUywZ5OrTVj8Dp7w1NAPpIaHKjruegc1RclqHb6MJ9M4x_069UPnbxPaqv57Lx2o4knxhur3zgst76ebs5C4M0fXh2KbKLkLrYoHiymUX5LoNWytX3vkW-6eMfeuhgQsG-IQV/s1600/scan0014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="271" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwoe4_lAsCUywZ5OrTVj8Dp7w1NAPpIaHKjruegc1RclqHb6MJ9M4x_069UPnbxPaqv57Lx2o4knxhur3zgst76ebs5C4M0fXh2KbKLkLrYoHiymUX5LoNWytX3vkW-6eMfeuhgQsG-IQV/s400/scan0014.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyr8eZSRW5BXHXd-yRfNmEsMeqm3fxF6sq9xYBfYqdPnws0TjdVHrqzoV_r8kZmTaUi-fVqq7Uvk06sgfIGDIiJ1QrTAXSk4TpRFom1ILT4-IwXSGABYzKjmIK_Vait2xgYaFq6sIXDnse/s1600/scan0009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyr8eZSRW5BXHXd-yRfNmEsMeqm3fxF6sq9xYBfYqdPnws0TjdVHrqzoV_r8kZmTaUi-fVqq7Uvk06sgfIGDIiJ1QrTAXSk4TpRFom1ILT4-IwXSGABYzKjmIK_Vait2xgYaFq6sIXDnse/s400/scan0009.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO-gJalCy8ES_FZykvI1uyNyDv68ZcWFSKfr08fGxXpLoQJexAMV0jDlJOBc2MItmga1n3hVWMryOnkR7ZHG7Cohf3fcCD51cYJiUjfXJCG90BY7_vEnPh1bDACsm02F32VQHfXHrk44r6/s1600/scan0015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO-gJalCy8ES_FZykvI1uyNyDv68ZcWFSKfr08fGxXpLoQJexAMV0jDlJOBc2MItmga1n3hVWMryOnkR7ZHG7Cohf3fcCD51cYJiUjfXJCG90BY7_vEnPh1bDACsm02F32VQHfXHrk44r6/s400/scan0015.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAkJ7mDbXQML4b1qbjEJH2nOlynZhZbys2idAqomhbbV6jNC4Dx6tZnYCzlpUtZehH3LOb5aI8DynNgdREGDbTFuSAR6O6RHchLQQ17uWQ_f_Tj86ZH6De36nIuX_2Ca1fT2cFAY2ccdSU/s1600/scan0011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAkJ7mDbXQML4b1qbjEJH2nOlynZhZbys2idAqomhbbV6jNC4Dx6tZnYCzlpUtZehH3LOb5aI8DynNgdREGDbTFuSAR6O6RHchLQQ17uWQ_f_Tj86ZH6De36nIuX_2Ca1fT2cFAY2ccdSU/s400/scan0011.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Many of the kids represented by the adults attending in the above pictures are young adults now. Perhaps its time to focus my energies on providing a meaningful program for the adults. This first large generation of affected kids (from the 90's) are giving us a new challenge...never have we had so many special needs adults at a time while mental health funds across the nation are being cut. The times call for us to be especially creative, so our grown up kids can continue to learn and be a part of society in the best way.</div>
<br /></div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-685715442583055013.post-20751303037757329962011-03-18T16:25:00.014-05:002011-07-12T10:36:36.842-05:00In God's Time<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I knew the name of this blog before I ever wrote it or even organized my thoughts on the subject. Usually its the other way around for me, I write, then search for the name. This particular subject I have battled with all my life...In God's Time....but I want it NOW!!! And I want it my way!!! Sound familiar?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
While in prison, just prior to being accepted into the Faith Dorm I was accepted to participate in a Retreat Weekend, held by a prison ministry called "KAIROS". The way we were considered for this weekend is to write a request into the prison chaplain explaining why we want to attend the Kairos weekend. I wrote three times, it seemed important enough to me to become a squeaky wheel. And, sure enough, I received far more than I ever imagined possible. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
A little definition is in order here. "Kairos" is a Greek word meaning undetermined time when something special happens. In contrast "Chronos" is the Greek word for chronological or sequential time. To take this a step further, in Christian theology kairos refers to "the appointed time in the purpose of God", the time when God acts. For example Mark 1:15 says "the time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand....." this is referring to kairos time. This retreat weekend was indeed, a time for God's purposes, His presence was enormous and awesome, the transformations among us were amazing and inspiring.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
To start with, it was held in the gymnasium which had been partitioned off into sections. A section for group meetings, a section for worship and a section for eating. On a Thursday evening we were ushered into the gym and every two of us were assigned a volunteer. We were offered a buffet dinner...fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, olives and finger sandwiches. That may not sound like a big deal to you, BUT it was GIANT to us. I had not had fresh veggies or fruit since incarcerated ...at that time it had been two and a half years and I craved these delicacies. For others it had been even longer. After filling our bodies with healthy food, they began to fill our hearts and minds with healthy thoughts and feelings through songs, sharing and presentations. These women, the volunteers, had unconditional love down to a tee, they embraced each one of us just as we were. Not one of us ever felt judged, we were brought into this circle of Christian women with open arms. I don't think I have ever experienced so much love at once. The women came from several different denominations...there were Baptist, Methodist, Episcopalians, Catholics and Lutheran to name a few. They came from churches all around, some from as far as 50+ miles away. Some of the volunteers were ministers at their churches. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
At night we had to return to our cells to sleep. We were then brought back Friday, Saturday and Sunday. In all we were together about 36 hours. They provided our meals, which were home cooked by volunteers outside the prison. Another large volunteer group that we never saw were the prayer warriors. These were volunteers specifically assigned to each one of us and were to pray for that person all weekend. They wrote us personal notes and sent them in, they took prayer requests from us and included that in their prayers. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The presentations to us were shared among the volunteers. After a presentation we then did group projects based on our understanding and presented those projects to the entire group. So the presentations to us were turned into an experiential learning, a much better way for us to retain and connect to our lessons. There were approximately 50 inmates and the volunteer group inside with us was approximately 35-40 women. As we were walking in each morning the volunteers surrounded us and sang to us. It was so beautiful. I still get tears when I think of how joyful that weekend was....it was like an oasis in the middle of a desert and we were just thirsting for what they gave us. The community that grew among us became an enormous force of nature...we carried it with us for the remainder of my time there...and I'm certain it continued long after I left. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
On Saturday morning we were each handed a small piece of rice paper and told to write names of people we needed to ask forgiveness from on one side and those we needed to forgive on the other side...we kept it with us throughout the day and wrote names as they came to us. Then later that evening we had a worship service on forgiveness and prayed on our lists. At the end of that service the minister was at a table with a large bowl of water and a wooden spoon, we each went up and put our list in the water, one at a time, and as she stirred we watched it dissolve. Following that exercise there were ministers in each corner of the room so we lined up (if we wanted) and were prayed over while that minister washed our hands. The power of that entire experience and the feeling of freedom was beyond words. It made the actual prison walls surrounding us seem like nothing, as we realized how withholding of forgiveness (in either direction) really creates a prison within, one for which there is no parole unless we make the choice to let go and speak those words and clean our thoughts. I started out that morning saying I was not a grudge holder so I wouldn't have anybody on my list...then as the day went on...my list grew and grew as I became more and more honest with myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Also offered during the weekend were individual counseling sessions with ministers of our choice, but only if we wanted. I had been grappling with the forgiveness issue regarding my false accusers. I had prayed over this several times, but seemed to have circular thinking. I met with one of the ministers I felt most comfortable with, asking if it made sense for me to continue with my appeal/habeas if I have truly forgiven them? Giant question for me. It was her belief that I was dealing with two separate issues, making them one. It was okay for me to pursue clearing my name (sticking to the facts of the case) and at the same time forgive these men. The two actions could live hand in hand inside of me. I began to understand, and was provided a sense of relief. I still work on this and when I feel the anger surface again (as it does), I lift it up, let it go and move on. Sometimes my husband gets angry at me for not being more angry, but I know that anger, if I were to hold on to it, would just kill me (if not physically, then spiritually for sure).</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Everything in God's time...I have to remember that! My parole was granted that very Friday while I was at the Kairos Retreat, although I wouldn't find out about it for another three weeks. When I came home several months later I found that sweet Nate, my special needs son, had regressed significantly. I had heard about this but never imagined how bad things were for him. My husband's health had deteriorated because of diabetes, he never let on in his letters but his last couple visits were somewhat revealing. My other son, Brandon, had survived the best, but basically had been very much on his own soon after I left, doing it the best he could (like being in the family group but not connected). I have to remind myself...the healing is all in God's time too....for all of us. The habeas is still not filed, I pray on that also. That habeas has to be the best it can be, because it is a one-shot deal. God's time!! His perfect time. It all boils down to trust and faith.<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04316183416545492160noreply@blogger.com4