LIFE EQUATIONS

As most of you know I have a love for math, that has existed as far back as I can remember.  My tendency is to think in math concepts and terminology.  So for you that see math as painful...I want you to give this blog a chance...I think you will find it interesting how I move from math to real life situations in this predominant left brain of mine.  As you know by now...I am sharing with you some of my writings while incarcerated as well as some of the details of my case.  All of that is present in this blog.  When I am especially under stress I turn to my mathematical mind to try and make sense and order out of the details.  Following is another of my book excepts, written while in Dallas County Jail, following my trial:

Life is full of variables, a set of multiple equations, some things known and some things unknown.  Multiple equations, multiple variables within the equations, most times needing to be solved simultaneously.  That is how I would define the case against me.

If you think back to math class when you are first learning to solve for 'x'. you have one variable and life at that time can be that simple.  So many decisions are already made for you in those early years.  As a child, quite often, all that you have to decide is how you attend what is placed in front of you.  What value will you assign to 'x', with 'x' representing attitude?  Will you decide to respond with a positive attitude or will you meet the stimulus with confusion, rebellion or indifference?

Each of us, as a child and as maturing adults will forever effect the paths we follow, through our decisions.  Our beliefs form our thoughts and decisions.  Our decisions set our actions.  Our actions develop our patterns and habits.  Through this we cultivate our character and that leads each of us to where we are today and where we are heading.  We need to embrace this process and own it.  Taking ownership at each step of the way will allow us to see all opportunities presented.  The outcome is only limited to the blinders we each choose.  Therefore, it is necessary to take off the blinders (i.e. fear, rebellion, anger....) and set healthy boundaries so that we might move forward to the unknown in the best way.  It is not over until we are finished.  We make our choices which are allowed through our God given free will.

With that said, I sit in Dallas County jail knowing that it is not over!  So long as I am breathing, my heart is pumping and my brain waves are active, I have the opportunity and the mental and emotional wherewithal to solve the simultaneous equations, solve for the variables that will set me free.

Some of the verifiable knowns in the equations of my case are:

1. false depositions by complainants
2. false testimonies by state witnesses, including DPD detective
3. withheld exculpatory evidence
4. insurance fraud by false accusers
5. contrived confession and forgery by false accusers, supposedly non-forensic testable
6. divorce fraud by false accusers
7. underlying politics/politicians cover up
8. violation of civil rights, including lack of competent defense
9. corrupt state justice system, not interested in truth, focused on conviction only

Whereas some of the variables are:

1. Will all things necessary to reveal the truth be presented in the habeas application?
2. How will my past trial attorney respond to allegations in the habeas?
3. Integrity of state justice system NOW (first filed with court who tried me)?
4. Will the habeas process and truth be honored by the state appeals court?
5. If not, will there be integrity in the Federal justice system?
6. If not, will the Supreme Court prove to be just?

Where is my freedom?  The answer lies in this complex set of equations, constantly evolving, plus the ability to sort out the truly relevant from the extraneous.  One has to believe that good will prevail and that the justice system actually does work at some level in order to continue.  It all starts with belief.

I was meeting with my habeas attorney this past Friday and telling him that I no longer believe in the justice system.  He so astutely pointed out that was not true, because I would not be sitting across from him, working hard on the habeas if I believed that.  So often we need someone to point out the obvious.  So as much as I like Forest Gump ("life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you are going to get"), I choose to believe life is a set of equations, for which we definitely have input.  What set of equations do you have to solve for?